If you haven`t heard about Dr. Henry Cloud, well, you should start listening to the podcasts on Boundless where he was a guest or grab a book of his in your local bookstore. He is a Christian psychologist who have written numerous books about leadership, and of course about relationships.
It`s so funny `cause last night, he was talking about biblical dating and courtship and the topic arose about girl friends hoping that their guy buddies would also fall in love with them. And they began talking about ladies who would even do the laundry of their guy friends.
Yeah, I know. Doing laundry for a guy friend is way over the top. I wouldn`t do that for a guy friend either. But would that change if ever you like that guy friend of yours? Hmmm. Tough question, isn`t it?
I don`t have a guy friend with me while writing this, or a brother, so I have no one to ask what`s going on inside the head of guy who would ask his friend to do his laundry for him. But anyway, ladies, I hope that you get the point right here.
Investing too much in guy friend whom you think would probably become a boyfriend soon after is something that we have to be really careful about. Giving your heart away, your attention, your emotions to a guy who haven`t professed his intentions to you is something that should—okay, I`ll say this straight—not be done.
There`s nothing wrong to pray about this close guy friend of yours whom you like. Relationships, preferably, should start in strong friendships, right? But if you are investing your feelings on this guy and giving your whole heart to him before you formally get into a relationship, or even before he makes a move, is something that could quite, well, hurt you in the future.
Nothing wrong with being in love, don`t get me wrong. But if you are giving so much to this guy friend, even things that should only be shared in relationships, then that wouldn`t be helpful to you.
We know that commitment should come first before intimacy. And we also know that there are a list of things that should only be shared by married couples. But not only relationships before marriage have boundaries. Even friendships, before formally going into a relationship has boundaries.
You can’t give him everything just yet. And yes, you can’t wash his clothes either!
Come to think of it. Is that the kind of guy you would want to spend the rest of your life with? A guy who can`t even do his own homework or laundry? Like what Dr. Cloud said, the guy doesn`t want a girfriend. He wants a Mom! So flee and save yourself, deary! hehe
This was written like a couple of months ago but didn`t get to publish it. Just so you would now. The podcast wasn`t *yesterday* but was a couple of months ago. Will post the link once I find it.