10:45 AM

"Not to us, not to us, but to give glory to Your name." 

I find comfort whenever I repeat these words in my head over and over.  My sister who’s a worship leader would always say that she has only done her task well when people are led into God’s presence in worship and they do not notice how well (or not!) she sang. I always find comfort in hearing that~in being reminded that it’s really not and never about me, how I look or how I perform.  

In my heart I know I’m made for something greater. But greater doesn’t look like how the world expects it to be. Greater wouldn’t make me famous or take me into the limelight. It wouldn’t bring praises from people or make me gain approval of men. Greater is not what we expect it to be because greater is not about me.

Greater is me fading so that Jesus can shine bright. Sometimes it means loving and not being loved back, giving but not getting anything in return, serving and not being served.  Sometimes greater is sleepless nights and muddy roads, empty wallets and empty stomachs. Greater is not position or affluence. Greater is following God no matter where He leads--for His glory and not ours. Greater is God working through us and we giving Him the glory and not taking it for ourselves. Greater is less of me so that there can be more of Him. 

“He must increase, but I must decrease.” -John 3:30

May I always find comfort in fading into your sidelines, Jesus. 

Writing Is Coming Back Home

4:03 PM

It's Sunday afternoon and I'm home alone today. After a while, I realized I'm not used to being home alone anymore.

Things have changed so much over the past months. Since I got married, a lot of things have changed including schedules and habits. I guess it takes a while to get used to major changes in your life and I'm now I'm getting well-adjusted! :)

I'm happy and things have been going on really well. It's beautiful to get married because you get to do things with someone you love and it's beautiful to be used by God together and become a blessing to others. Work has been wonderful as well and I'm loving how I'm making an impact with the work that I do for the Lord and for His people. But there is one thing that I really miss.

I miss the times I was able to write frequently. Back then when work wasn't hectic as now and I have a lot of time to think about life and contemplate. :) Now, it's definitely a luxury to be able to sit down quietly in front of a computer to write on the blog and read books for myself. I guess, I've put off writing for a long, long time now and I'm focusing more on the day to day tasks and responsibilities at work that I was leaving a part of me--of who I am. 

Are there also things in your life that you have put off? Things which God has designed you for and called you to do? And in putting it off you feel like you are betraying whom God has called you to be?

Well, today, I'm writing again and I feel like coming home and back. I hope that you too will take those little steps again toward your dreams and who God called you to be!

Happy Sunday!

Everyday Life

Saturdays and Sundays and My Husband's Wrinkled Clothes

4:59 PM

Saturday mornings look different now. Sunday mornings too.

Two months ago, before I got married, Saturdays meant sleeping in and Sundays were "me", family and ministry time. Everything was so easy. I wake up late. Breakfast is ready (Mom and my sister are the best cooks) and I go to church. :D I used to be the last one in the family to get ready and my Mom would wake me up several times to find me sleeping again, 30 minutes before church starts. But things have definitely changed! So many things can happen in a couple of months, right?

These days, Saturday mornings are all about washing piles of dishes, cooking meals and cleaning the bathroom. Sundays mean ironing my husband's pastor clothes (I had no idea it was sooooo hard!) and designing his powerpoint--things that need hard work but which I really like doing for him.

This morning was one of those crazy, challenging days. I woke up a bit late and the husband had breakfast ready. The sleepy, dizzy me thought that I just have enough time to do his Sunday outfit. I got everything ready --a steam iron, our little ironing board, and another travel steamer (whichever works!) only to find more than an hour later that none of those things work. And I cried in frustration because after several ironing sessions with my expert, pastor's wife Mom, I still don't know how to iron a man's long sleeved shirt.

But these days when I feel like a failure are also the days I also feel most loved.

Many people say that a husband's shirt is a reflection of his wife. People use it as a gauge of how good or not a wife is.  I never realized people can be so harsh. :))

But this morning, I found out that a husband's shirt is a reflection of his heart. Wrinkled shirts do not make bad of a wife who's failing but trying hard, but makes good of a husband who loves her wife and appreciates the littlest efforts she makes though she stumbles and makes mistakes.

And I'm grateful because God gave me a husband who sees the well-ironed parts instead of the wrinkles on his shirt, who let's me try, make mistakes and learn from them, who tells me it doesn't have to be perfect and wears to church the far-from-perfect ironed shirt.

If this is what love looks like then my eyes are glued.

Thank You, Jesus.
Thank You for my husband.
And thank You for how crazy beautiful and colorful my new Saturday and Sundays now look like.

Photography © Viola Canaceli (South Korea, 2017)

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