Forgiveness And A Fragile Heart: A Faith Barista Jam
6:39 PMMy college algebra professor once told me that I don`t trust people easily. That time, I found his statement so hard to believe. I was convinced that I trust people far too easily, but then went on admitting that once that trust is broken, I find it very hard to trust again.
Hearts can get really fragile, don`t they? I felt like mine was made of thin glass—easily picked up but also easily broken. Vulnerability came easy for me when I was younger, until the thin glass started to break little by little.
Best friends who replaced me. Confidants who betrayed me. Leaders who rejected me. They were like thumbprints in the heart that wouldn`t go away. They haunt me whenever I am about to open my heart to somebody, threatening I would get hurt the same way it happened before.
Terrified, I`ve learned to shut the door in my heart. I still make friends
but I don`t let them in to the farthest, deepest rooms of my heart.
I`ve learned to keep people at “reasonable” distance. I was so afraid
to trust, afraid of being hurt, left alone and rejected. I really didn`t want to hand over my heart again to anyone anymore.
Until I learned that in all these, in times like these… I should forgive. Until I let forgiveness flow in my heart, I would never be able to freely love again. I would never learn to trust anybody. I would never open up myself to be loved and be held close in the someone`s heart.
The pain and hurt of the past…they would go only if I would pardon those who have wronged me and resolve that they do not owe me anything anymore.
No matter how deep the pain… I can forgive. I will forgive. We can forgive. We must forgive.
The God who always held us close is Someone whom we have hurt so much the same way like those who have hurt and wounded us deeply. And yet, He chose to open His heart to us—still—no matter how utterly wrong and stubborn we`ve been. He has always and will always leave Himself vulnerable to love and love again…even after we fail and fail.
How can I not extend that same love and forgiveness to others?
I, even I, am he who blots out
your transgressions, for my own sake,
and remembers your sins no more.
Isaiah 43:25
“…And I will be kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.” –Max Lucado
17 comments
Beautiful picture of trust! And you are right it is hard to trust without forgiveness.
ReplyDelete@Katie Thanks, Katie! Yeah, until we forgive, that's when our wounds would start to heal so we will learn to trust again!
ReplyDeleteThanks for dropping by! Blessings!
No matter how deep the pain… I can forgive. I will forgive.
ReplyDeleteJesus can heal those broken places and make it okay to trust again..He promises!
ReplyDeleteForgiveness is truly divine. My favorite books that include that subject is anything by Sheila Walsh, but most especially Boundaries by Drs. Cloud and Townsend. They said in that book forgiveness doesn't always mean that the relationship will be the same or exist at all. It's a process that takes intentional steps from us.
ReplyDeleteI think the moment with me when I knew was when I didn't celebrate their losses. I prayed for them and eventually those prayers came out of love. The relationship can never be there for at least one of them, but I am at peace with everything and it's a wonderful feeling to be at peace.
Hi Cathy, I saw you last week on the jam and I was so happy to see our jam came in today. Girl, you can pour out a brew hot and fresh.
ReplyDelete"I was convinced that I trust people far too easily, but then went on admitting that once that trust is broken, I find it very hard to trust again."
You had me at hello and then again at the close with Isaiah 43:25. Beautiful, beautiful words with humanity and the divine. Thank you .. and so blessed to "meet" you. Thanks for adding this to the jam!
First time here, and I really like the layout of your blog, and I LOVE the pics that accompany your post today. Beautiful! Did you take?
ReplyDeleteI really like that quote from Max Lucado. You're right---being hurt makes me wary about letting people in very far. It's something I have to fight more often than I'd like to.
ReplyDelete@Melissa, Multi-Tasking Mama Hi Melissa! Thank you! That is a great encouragement! God is really so gracious and faithful, isn`t he? It really makes my cry to think that He cares for us and heals us everytime we`re broken. ;) Blessings!
ReplyDelete@Nikole Hahn I love what you said, Nicole! Forgiveness should start as an intentional step from us. At first, it`s hard to pray for those who have offended us...but little by little, God heals and opens our heart so we could love and eventually forgive them completely. Thanks so much for sharing! ;)
ReplyDelete@Bonnie Gray Hi Bonnie! Thank you so much for your sweet and encouraging words! At first I was afraid to be so honest writing this post. But it is liberating to admit that I am "human" and I can`t go on if not for God`s grace and love.
ReplyDeleteThe jam and your blog is really is a blessing!!! Thank you for being an inspiration.♥♥♥ I really didn`t have a good cry until I discovered your blog a few days back. So thankful that God brought me to your site. Thank you for the opportunity to share.
God bless you more, Bonnie! God bless your heart! Sooo nice to meet you! ;)
@Amy Sullivan Hi Amy! Thank you for dropping by! The photos today... I just got them over the net. But I didn`t know who to credit them to. But I put credits when I know so if you would like something in future posts, you can go and see the photographers. Blessings!
ReplyDelete@Sheryl Hi Sheryl! I totally understand what you mean. Hurts make us so afraid to let people in again.
ReplyDeleteSo thankful that Jesus is our restorer. He will heal our hearts and teach us to trust deeply again, to let people in like how we used to. ;)There may be people who have hurt us, but there are also many who loves us even more--we just have to have a little more faith.
Blessings!
Thanks for these words. I am going through the pain of a broken friendship and am trying to figure out what to do next.
ReplyDeletePhilip
It's so good to have you in The High Calling network. I love your unique, inspiring blog and look forward to getting to know you better! :)
ReplyDelete@PFaustin Thanks for dropping by, Philip! Praying for you... and that God will heal your heart and your friendship. God bless!
ReplyDelete@Dena Dyer Hi Dena! Thank you for being so warm! *hugs*
ReplyDelete♥♥♥