I`m a fan! I`m really loving her songs. I read from one of the comments on Youtube that Francesca`s songs are honest and I couldn`t agree more with that.  I feel that I can actually relate to her songs. I`m always looking for songs that are “real”…those which speaks the things my heart wants to say.
This song is really speaking what`s in my heart right now. People may think I`m doing well, that everything is really going on smoothly…but like any person, I also have my own struggles and sometimes, they get to me as well. It just proves that no one of us is really ever strong on  our own. We all have failings, we all run out of strength and it`s only God who always pulls us through no matter what. On the outside we may look as if nothing can ever beat us down, but on the inside we are children clinging on to our strong Heavenly Father who has always and will always be fighting for us.
Behind the scenes, we are fragile human beings…but also behind the scenes, God is the strong, all-powerful and ever-loving God who always backs us up. Behind the “behind the scenes”, we have a God actively working and that is a big, big relief.

This sounds vain but nah, I`m really needing a 180degrees turn from my current lifestyle. So I`m taking the challenge of taking care of myself and going all natural for one whole week and we`re gonna see the difference.

My everyday routine doesn`t include a lot of exercise and I`m feeding on fast food and processed meals all of the time. When  I look at my skin and measure my weight, there`s really a big difference back when I was very careful with the food I eat and when I was following a strict skin care regimen.

So here are my plans for the whole week, and I`m gonna do my best to do everything on this list.

1. Drink 10 glasses of water everyday.

2. Have big servings of vegetables every meal.

3. Completely avoid sweets.

4. No junk foods.

5. No fast food or processed meals.

6. Use natural mud packs, moisturizers, etc.

7. Excercise.

So this is what would fill up my days this whole week. And I`m gonna try my best.

Anyway, Viola and I are studying Korean and it is so much of a challenge as much as it is fun. I`m also studying Hangul and actually, it`s much easier than Japanese. I just have to start with everything basic because I`ve never been exposed to much Korean, unlike Japanese which I basically grew up with, having my dad and his family speaking the language. ButI guess, I`m making progress and isn`t that what`s important?. ;)

I am just amazed that we could learn all these new things and learning a new language is a very good gift from God.

I`m so thankful at what He`s doing in my life right now.

I forgot to tell you that last week, I edited a video for a production house and worked with some really cool and amazing people, and of course, dealt with this actor/model client who always had his video revised which made me go nuts. ;) But it was fun and I had a great time. I even had an opportunity to share about Jesus with the Production Manager and you just wouldn`t help but be amazed at God`s plans. His purpose for placing me in that place was breathtaking. I know that somehow, a seed have been planted in his heart and one day, he will see the heart of God who really, really loves him.

I got to go now. But I will update on my one week lifestyle challenge, and perhaps I will take a picture or myself before and I after I finish.

See you soon!

“For nothing is impossible with God.”

That`s what Luke 1:37 says.

Looking it up tonight on my Bible after seeing this picture, I honestly thought that that verse on Luke was a more wordy verse. Broken Dreams must be awakened and restored by a quotation worthy of winning a writing award, I thought. I least expected it to be six words long and as simple as that.

 

But Luke is 1:37 nevertheless, is such a powerful verse--such greatness in those words.

Thinking about my dreams and everything that has fallen apart, what reassuring and heart-awakening words to hear that nothing is impossible before the Almighty God that we serve.

Like shattered glass that is beyond repair, I felt like I don`t want to dream again. I mean, I still want to, I still do have dreams, but they are all completely buried in what seems to be a land where nothing ever comes true.

 

I felt like all my dreams would never come to happen and I somehow accepted that I might as well find a job where I could earn a living even if I don`t really love the craft I`m doing. And I`ve somehow cried deep in my heart, even if there are no tears in my eyes, at the thought that I may never touch my dreams once again. It was like a funeral in itself. It`s like burying who you are and who you ought to become.

But tonight, I will dare to dream again. I will dare to see beyond who I am at the moment, and will press on towards the future, to what`s ahead.

 

The broken pieces…I will try to pick them up once again. One by one. Even if they hurt my hands as I offer them back to Master who promised that He will prepare a future for me, who plans to give me hope, and to give me life and that I may live it the fullest.

Yes, tonight. I will go back to where I buried my broken dreams. Some of which were broken by others. Some I have buried myself.

And tonight, I will start dreaming and believing again. That nothing is ever impossible with God.

 

My dreams, every single one them, God can make them happen. He is never changing. He is still same God I believed long ago, the same God who made impossible things happen for me. And He is still the God of the impossible. He is still the God who promised me that I`m gonna reach my dreams—because He is the One who planted them in my heart.

 

Thank you, Lord. I`m gonna dare to dream again because You are You. I believe in You. I trust You.

I don`t know how to play chess. The last time I tried learning was when I was in 5th grade, in my Physical Education class where we sometimes do board games. But I was much more interested in Scrabble and I played along with the Scrabble champion in my class during P.E. times and sometimes tried to play chess, but I found it too intimidating. I mean, the King and Queen, and everything seemed to be a little bit scary for me back then.

So I was always amazed with chess champions I often see on TV and there was this anime that I used to watch on QTV about chess tournaments.

 

And I never thought I`d like playing chess… UNTIL! Drum roll please!  Until this week when I`ve got nothing to do and found out that I have the game on my computer and I decided to give it a try. I remember Nashee telling me not be afraid of making mistakes. No one becomes a pro in a night. She said that when Raymond was teaching me to play chess in her house. By the way, Raymond is very, very good in chess. Who would have thought about that.

 

So this week, I was on my computer… losing on every chess match I play. Until finally, tonight, I made my first win! Yeah, right up there. I made sure I got a photo of it `cause this really something for me! haha And this is where I came from…

Good thing Papa got home and he was sitting beside me. Moral support. Telling me not to give the last standing pawn on my opponent`s side—the king—an inch to move. And I tell you, having that king cornered was hard! I thought it will be an easy win once I got everything eaten up. ;p

Well, it`s a victory for me, and I should have a little victory party! I shall treat myself now for a calming Chinese tea `cause I`ve eaten up a lot tonight. See yah!

P.S. Here`s my second win tonight! Yipee! ;))

This was from my journal, dated April 2009. It was one of the sweetest lessons God has taught me on a random morning, on my way to the office. He reminded me that He always sees us through the eyes of a Father, of a friend, and not that of someone who doesn`t know or love us. Read on and I hope you`d also be inspired to see others through the same eyes that sees you. This is for every lady out there who is pursuing modesty.

Today I learned not to judge people based on how they look.

I know it`s quite basic. You can`t judge people based on your first impression on them. But it`s actually a challenge to me sometimes, especially when it comes to girls who are a bit over what the word “modesty” implies.

I`m on my way to the office this morning, when the jeep I was riding stopped to get a passenger. I saw this girl walk by the window beside me. She was wearing a super fit gray tank top, a Laaarge bejeweled necklace, and a pair of red really-super-cling-tight pants which was the craziest `cause it really seemed like leggings to me, and which  I was afraid would burst any moment.) As she walked by my window, I was thinking “Ano ba namang babae yan. What in the world is she wearing?”. Then I noticed she looked young and innocent and believed that she could have looked better in a more laid-back outfit.

Before I could even move on from wishing about a more suitable outfit for her, someone in front of my seat called me “Ate”, and I realized that she was the girl I was criticizing a few seconds ago. She began asking me if I don`t remember her anymore. And I was not only silenced at the fact that I really don`t remember her at all, but also because I was surprised that the girl was someone I know.

She then began asking me questions about my old church, how I was doing… and slowly I began to figure out who she was. She was a friend from my family`s old church 3 years ago. Memories began to come back and I realized just how much I missed and love this girl.

I felt like something changed in my heart. The girl, who a few moments ago was an object of my judgment suddenly became someone I love. When I saw the girl as a stranger, I was taken aback by the way she dressed. But when I learned that she was a friend, I wanted to understand why she was like that, why she dressed the way she did. And I remembered that this girl had a lot of struggles going on in her life. She needs affection, attention, and love. Deep inside her is a little child longing for the approval of others. And I realized, I cannot judge her but SHOULD LOVE HER.

I just thought that God is seeing all girls (and boys, as well) in the eyes of a close friend, not in the eyes of a stranger. He knows the reason why some things happen the way they do. And he loves us, and believes that we can still be changed. ;)

This lesson is such a humbling experience for me.

LOVE.

Sometimes, when we`re doing the right thing, or when we`re trying to do the right thing, we tend to become self-righteous and we easily judge the people around us. But let us be reminded that we are called to love as much as we are called to be holy. You cannot “be holy” and not love. And you cannot “love” and not be holy. So as we pursue godliness, let us also pursue love; and love the people around us and not judge them but share with them about the God who loves them and who longs to embrace them and desires for them to spend every moment of their lives in His presence.

Let`s stay in love, ladies—with Jesus and with the people around us. Let`s see people through the eyes of God who never saw us as strangers but who treats us as the apple of His eyes every single day.

God bless you!

Well, I guess I`m back. After a month of taking a break from graphic designs, video editing, and all computer stuff, I`m having a great time doing designs again.

My new project is for JCOB Nova`s posters and for the Acoustic Nights` promo materials.

I`m loving playing around with photos these days—hence, the result is my previous entry—although I have to try harder faking my own photos. I don`t think I`ve ever become good in editing my own. haha

But I`m looking forward to doing more creative stuff for church in the coming days and weeks… I`m going back to again to my old Everyday Design Challenge, and I`ll be putting it up on my design blog.

I`m also accepting video editing and graphic design projects, in case you`d need a hand. ;) And I`m back scrapping too! You can visit my design blog and I`ll be posting links and tips and all other stuff I`ve read and encountered in the past and I hope to be of some help to those who are beginning with Photoshop, Premiere, and After Effects.

 

 

Anyway, here`s a quote about prayer that I stumbled upon this afternoon in my laptop.

"It is in the field of prayer that life's critical battles
are lost or won. We must conquer all our circumstances there.
We must first of all bring them there. We must survey them there.
We must master them there. In prayer we bring our spiritual
enemies into the Presence of God and we fight them there. Have you
tried that? Or have you been satisfied to meet and fight your foes
in the open spaces of the world?"  J. H. Jowett

Isn`t that cool? I, myself, am reminded that before I do anything else, I would have to bow down in prayer before the Almighty of God. All of our efforts are in vain if God is not with us, or if He doesn`t approve of our plans, or if we`ll only be doing it on our efforts.

I suddenly remembered the Boiler Room at Messiah where I usually go to pray and cry out to God. Missing Messiah! <3

I had nothing to do the yesterday so I tried to come up with something using Photoshop. The other day, I had  just finished the first revision of the church poster and flyer that I was assigned with,     and it seems I had fun making silhouettes of people`s photos. So yesterday, when I saw this picture of Lee Seung Hyo, here`s what I came up with:

Now that was crazy. But haven’t you ever dreamed about starring in a romantic movie with your favorite movie star? Yeah, like highschool! haha (And how I wish I had a prettier picture, `cause that one`s really grainy! Tsk)

And don’t you ever dream of being on the magazine covers?

Okay. The last photos are too much. I tried to upload them on Facebook but kindda disgusting, aren’t they?

Actually, I changed my profile picture using one of these but I uploaded the wrong one--the first edit--and a friend posted a comment on my wall about the editing flaws on the hair, and it was freakin’ embarrassing. haha

Well, I don’t think I’ll ever want to do something like this again. Eeky! Not to mention, immodest. ;(

One thing I learned today: Learn to be content and love yourself just as you are. You may not be a model or a movie star, but you don’t have to Photoshop your face into models’ bodies. We are beautiful the way we are. ;) Always. And I`m laughing while writing that one.

But I might buy a dress like the one above `cause it`s so very pretty and smart. A longer one, by the way. And I MUST exercise! <3  Mom, Ava and I talked about walking all the way to the market every morning at 5.30am and walking back to our house. That`s 2 KM over all, just enough for warm-up, but would be a big change, a good start--with my sedentary lifestyle!

We are supposed to love ourselves for who we are, but that doesn`t mean that we won`t have to take care of ourselves anymore. We are called to take care of our bodies because they are a gift from God, they are beautifully handcrafted by the God of the universe Himself. Exercise, eat the right food, stay away from unhealthy things, keep a fit shape, and wear decent, presentable clothes. You don`t have extravagant. Well, that`s another story right there. But  taking care of oneself--that`s what a modest, godly woman should do. If we are taking care of our character, aren`t we also supposed to take care of our bodies. Both always goes hand in hand.

So having said that, who wants to go with me on a trip to the salon for a haircut? ;) Let`s go, girls!

Before I go, how about a poster with my name on it?

Okay, okay. Enough of this crazy thing. See you soon! ;)

I didn`t have  much to do the other day so I pulled the box under my bed where I`ve been keeping my old stuff—writings, journals, scripts, and illustrations. I was looking for a story I have written `cause I`m planning to rewrite it and then I saw my old Steno Notebook, the one I used as a journal when I was on my first year in college.

 

I totally forgot that after that semester, I used that notebook to compile quotes I have loved when I was in high school.  I`ve also written excerpts from books and magazine articles. But I could write everything here, so I just chose the quotes that I find beautiful and somewhat timely.

 

I hope you`ll have time to read on. Some are really sweet, some are important lessons to learn, some maybe treasures you would also not want to forget.

 

On Friendship

No birth certificate is issued when a friendship is born. There is nothing tangible. There is just a feeling that your life is different and that your capacity to love and care has miraculously been enlarged without any effort on your part. It`s like having a tiny apartment and somebody moves in with you, but instead of becoming cramped, the space expands, and your discover rooms you never knew you had until your friend moved in with you.

 

On Love

Real love is always fated. It has been arranged before time. It is the most meticulously prepared of coincidences. And fate, of course, is simply a secular term for the will of God, and coincidence for His grace. --Mike Mason, The Mystery of Marriage

One does not fall in love, one grows into love and love grows in him. —Karl A. Menninger

Listening is an attitude of the heart, a genuine desire to be with another which both attracts and heals. –J. Isham

Love is known best by the blind, for it is meant to be known by the heart, not by the eyes.  –Peter Streiter

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen nor touched…but are felt in the heart. –Helen Keller

Girls who are critical can`t fall in love. They think of themselves highly. In other words, they are in love with themselves.

Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one`s life with pomp and blare, like a gay knight riding down. Perhaps it crept to one`s side like an old friend through quiet ways. Perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden shaft of illumination flung athwart its pages, betrayed the rhythm and the music; perhaps…perhaps… love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath. –Anne of Avonlea

 

On Character

Talent is a gift but character is a choice… We do choose our character… We create it every time we make choices—to cop out or dig out of a hard situation, to bend the truth or stand on the weight of it, to take the easy money or pay the price.                             –John Maxwell

How many giving trees have there been in my life? How many released part of themselves so I might grow, so I might accomplish my goals, find wholeness and satisfaction and reach beyond the tiny, limited playground of my childhood? So, so many…

Now I, like the tree, have grown up. Now it`s my turn to give and some of that hurts. Apples, branches, sometimes the trunk. – Growing Strong In The Seasons of Life

Be more concerned with your character than your reputation. Your character is really what you are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.

It`s the action, not the fruit of the action, that`s important. You have to do the right thing. It may not be in your power, not be in your time, that there`ll be any fruit. But that doesn`t mean you stop doing the right thing. You may never know  what results come from your action. But if you do nothing, there will be no result.

Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.

Surviving your life successfully requires courage; the goals and dreams you`re seeking require courage and risk-taking. Learn from the turtle—it only makes progress when it sticks its neck out.

If you don`t try, you have no chance.

To be sensitive is one thing, and to sense is another. One is an affair of the soul; the other, an affair of judgment.

Every girl`s got a crush. Seriously. ;) Now of your a guy, I`m sure you`re now beginning to shake your head  `cause this is real Girl Stuff and if your`re planning to read on, warning right here: Read at your own risk. ;)

Okay. So I`m really crushing on some come cute guy over there… In Seoul, to be exact. And I`m sure, many of you also got a crush on that part of the planet. You know, Yiruma, Lee Seung Gi, Kwon Sang Woo, etc. Well, my crush goes by the name of Lee Seung Hyo. You might find him familiar if you`re watching Queen Seon Deok `cause he`s Yellow Hwarang right there.

So now, you know him? *giggles*

Okay, now enough of that. ;)

 

So why am I sharing you this?

Well, I know we always have crushes on TV, movies, on the coolest, most awesome singers out there--loving the way they look, the way they smile, speak, and carry themselves. Now, I`m also always having crushes on celebrities. Who wouldn`t like guys who look smart and kind and not to mention, almost perfect?

But as we look on these kind of guys, we must be careful that the image of the guy that we are waiting for had been associated with these celebrities whom we find gorgeous and good-looking. We know that God is preparing a person for us and we are willing to wait but we must also be careful to realize that the person we are waiting for is not Prince Charming. He might not have that perfect toothpaste-commercial smile, he may not be as rich as the Prince of Wales,  or he may not look as dashing as your favorite movie star…but he will surely be the one you`ll love to spend your whole life with.

As I grow older, I realize that maybe Prince Charming also has his own flaws. Sure he`s handsome and passionate, kind, loving, and everything pretty. But who knows? What if he doesn`t brush his teeth in the morning or what if he gets irritable when he`s hungry and turns the whole refrigerator upside down? I`m sure Prince Charming sometimes doesn`t look charming. Cinderella might have laughed when food gets stuck between his teeth, or when he loses at tennis every time over the guards. And I`m sure there are many things Prince Charming might have done less like what we thought he would—because the movies and story books only said about his good side.       

Everyone of us might have somehow related to the princesses of storybooks. Cinderella was poor and she has all these big dreams. Ariel wanted to explore another world and try new things. Snow White was being treated unfairly. They’re ordinary girls who suddenly met this perfect prince along the way and we sometimes wish the same thing would happen to us, don’t we?

 

But let us not be disillusioned that when God gives us Mr. Right, he will also be Mr. Perfect. And I’m so sorry to tell these young ladies, there will never be a perfect man, and the real-life Prince Charming’s are as real as your dad, your bestfriend, you brother, and your classmate…who are really, really great but sometimes have their own less-than-perfect moments, and who sometimes makes human mistakes.

And my dear ladies, let me repeat this even though I’m sure you’ve heard this over and over: real love is more than what we see in fairytales. It’s more than just the magical-pixie-dust-moment. Real love is more than being carried on a white horse or being danced with on that sweet elegant ball. Real love doesn’t love only the perfect things of this world. Real love sees more than what’s physical. It sees beyond the pain and hurts that being vulnerable can bring.

Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not self-seeking.

Love will patiently love even if your partner has flaws. Love will forgive and forgive over and over. Love will understand. Love will constantly pray for his beloved and will patiently await as God patiently teaches his partner.

Love doesn’t run after one’s desire. Love isn’t insisting that his partner would change into the guy or girl of dreams. Love gives and love desires the joy of the beloved.

I’ve never really learned so much, honestly. But as much as I am praying for a godly man, I am also praying for God to purify my heart and my love; and that as I wait, I myself would be changed by God into a godly woman.

I will never be perfect and I would also need to be understood. And I’m praying that I, too, when the time comes for me to love, would also learn to accept imperfections and I would also learn to understand..and to be patient as well.

You know, our God is a good God. And He is always sovereign and active. He is intimately acquainted with the things that we do and he loves so much than we could ever imagine. And he works in ways that we never imagined…and it is so comforting to know that even when Prince Charming is still on his learning process, God is changing him and the same way he is changing us too. And we know that his grace is sufficient for everyone of us. So let us not think highly of ourselves that we deserve nothing less than a Prince Charming. But let us be sober and be humble and trust God that whoever it is He gives us, may not be Prince Charming, but will never be less than His perfect will. ;)

Real love, ladies! <3

I wanna stop watching heavy drama now. They always make me sad anyway.  ;)

I was trying to clean-up old files from my laptop  just now and I saw these old music videos I downloaded from Youtube, music videos from the Korean drama “Winter Sonata”… and I remember 5 years ago when I would sit by our living room at 11 in the morning watching its replays on GMA. I remember dreaming of having to go to Korea on a winter month and doing a drama! Haha But they always make me sad… as always…and I just thought that maybe it`s not so good for me to watch all these super sad dramas again. I mean, at least, I wouldn`t watch replays because they make me think of the past, and thinking about my past is really the thing that makes me so, so sad.

So, you ask what`s in my past that I don`t want to remember? Well, like I told you, I wouldn`t want to think about them again right now so I`m sorry, maybe some other time, when I`ve fully recovered, I would have the chance to share them with you. ;p

But you know, what Paul said in the NT, that we should forget what is behind and move to what`s ahead, that is really making sense to me right now. Everything that has long been gone must be forgotten—our hurts, our frustrations, our broken dreams. What`s important is what`s ahead. God has bigger plans for us and we shouldn`t confine ourselves with what have or haven`t happened in our past.

Everyday, His goodness and kindness is renewed. They are new every morning. And that is itself is a reason for us to look forward, to look on what`s ahead, to keep our eyes towards where God is leading us and stop murmuring or crying on things that have been.

I wouldn`t cry over the time I have lost, or the dreams I had that have been broken. God is preparing for what`s ahead, and surely, something good is going to happen because He is the author, not only of our lives or of our present, but also of our future.

I would have a very good reason to sleep soundly tonight knowing that God holds me and my dreams in His hands.

Goodnight, people! Till next time.