I was reading on my old blog this afternoon—the one I kept back in college—and I found this post I wrote when I was 20, in my desperation. *wink*
And it is heartwarming to remember that God cares for me and promises to hold on to me during life`s most desperate moments. It comforted my heart now, as I`ve been struggling lately about my dreams and laying it down before His altar, like how Abraham laid down Isaac.
Reading this, I remembered that the Lord cares about hearts. He cares even for even the tiniest things that concern us. And when we think surrender is hard and painful, what we need to do is look unto God and remember His love and goodness. He wouldn`t do anything---or ask us to do anything—that would harm us. He knows what`s best and we must ask Him for a trusting heart that always believes and never doubts His character.
--July 19, 2008--
It`s 4:22 in the morning. The commercial that I am trying to come up with will be due in less than four hours. Tired and all the more tempted to sleep. I must admit that I am tempted to SMS my leader in this time of the night and tell him that I cannot do this anymore. All I have is a background music, a draft of text from my pastor, some rather uncrisp photographs, and a blank movie editing screen. No idea. No bulb light moment. Hopeless.
"I am the Lord Your God. I am holding your hand,
so don`t be afraid. I am here to help you."
Isaiah 41:13 (NLT)
Before I started staring at my monitor hours ago, I read a chapter in Isaiah about God`s promise to Israel. He affirms that He is with them and will fight for them. When I read verse 13, I thought God is only speaking to me about a big heart issue I have been holding on to for so long. I was relieved and strengthened. And I thought that was all. But a few moments ago, when I really felt like crying because I could not do anything with what I was doing, God reminded me of His Word.
I am HOLDING your hand. I AM here to help you.
What sweet words to hear when all you`re left to do is to give up. I may not be seeing it but He is holding my hand. Imagine that! He is here with me now, grabbing my hand in my most desperate moment. What a sweet and loving God!
Lord, oh I just adore You. Thank You so much for being kind, and loving, and thoughful. You are really the sweetest of all I have ever seen. ;)
You know that I cannot do this. My strength is gone. The only thing that is left of me now is Your promise.. that You are the God who picks us up, You are the God who reaches us with Your hand and upholds us. All I am able to do now is trust.
I need Your power within me, my God. I just love You, Lord!
Photo Credits: Click photo