Several months ago, I received a complementary copy of 10 Commandments to Choosing God’s Best from CSM. I loved the book so much and finished in one sitting!

I know this is one our girly issues these days: “How to know if He’s God’s will?”, “How to choose which is God’s will?” or “Is he the right one for me?” This has been the topic of most of my conversations with girl friends recently. And I know even the younger teenage girls love to talk about this topic. We girls just want to know and we want to follow God’s heart, aware that without the proper guidance and wisdom, we get confused!

Don’t let the excitement of youth cause you

to forget your Creator. Honor him in your youth

before you grow old and say,

“Life is not pleasant anymore.”

~Ecclesiastes 12:1

I look back in the past five years of my life and I don't regret every single day I've served the Lord in exchange for my dreams. :) People may laugh at me and call me crazy because I don't live the same way the world does. But I'd give my life away again and again~if only for Him who loves me and takes care of me.

I may have not achieved so much in the world, but I have been closer to His heart. I have lived His purpose for life. No medal, certificate, diploma, fancy clothes or car could match that.

I have given little, lost some, but gained so much more.

I have served Him and so I have lived my life.  <3

Photo Source

I was reading this post by Kristen about aging gracefully and although we’re 15 years apart, I felt that I can really relate to “aging”. LOL

I know it sounds funny but I do think I’m growing old. When I celebrated my birthday this year, I felt like I was little far from my teenage years and college days already. Old. Maybe because when I was 19, I thought 25 was old so now I think about these things.

But slowly, I begin realize that beauty grows in age. The more we get older, the more beautiful we could get. Because time enables you to grow in grace and character. It feels so good to look back on my younger days and find that I’m somehow far from who I was back then. And God has changed me so much. Taught me so much. Brought me to places I’ve never even dared to imagine.

I sometimes fear growing older. Because I’m afraid to be defined by numbers. Because even thought I’m 25, I’m still a child at heart. Only a little wiser. I’m also afraid to grow wrinkles. I’m afraid to look old. But then again, the more years we live, like how my sister Ava always say it, the more we see God’s faithfulness in our lives. The more  wrinkles and white hair we have, the more we see His hand moving and His purpose unfolding.

Yes, I want to remain young for a long time (no wrinkles, no age spots). but I also want to grow~deep within. And growing that way matters to my heart more than keeping younger looking skin but without character.

And so I don’t mind being 25 or to be called old if you want to call me that. Because the more years I live, the more I could celebrate His goodness and witness His grace.

…I have upheld since you were conceived,

and have carried since your birth.

Even to your old age I am he, and to gray hairs I will carry you.

I have made, and I will bear; I will carry and will save.

Isaiah 46:5

It’s 2PM and tried to go upstairs for the first time in more than a month. Everyone in the house is sleeping and I don’t know what came to my mind but I just wanted to go upstairs. LOL I was so excited and I knew I could do it. So alone, I took my crutches and made my way up. It took me 4 steps to realize I can’t do it. I wasn’t able to go any further. Haha And I realized fighting spirit alone isn’t enough. You need strong legs! I thought if I’d be brave and if I’d believe I can, I can do it. But I was wrong. And so I realized one valuable lesson today. :D

It’s so natural for me to keep pushing even when things are hard. 

I don’t like giving up.

I remember my goal back in college was to “always try to beat myself”. to push beyond what I know I could do. I always thought it’s all in the mind. But God is teaching me otherwise. And today, I am reminded of it once again. Going up the stairs, I have to decide in my heart to give up. Because I need real strength. I need strong feet that would carry my weight. I may be fighting and determined in my heart and mind, but if my foot is injured, it just wouldn’t work. 

Sometimes, it’s in giving up that we become stronger. When we admit our weakness, that’s when real strength comes. Because then, it is God who becomes strong in us. It is when His power shines though. It’s in rest and surrender that are battles are won and our fears are gone.

And so tonight, I know the Lord is teaching me the important lesson of “giving up”. I will give up trying to go upstairs until my cast is removed (esp. when everyone is asleep. My Mom will get angry if she finds out. Yay). It’s only when I accept my weakness and rest  the way He wants me to that my injuries would be healed so one day, my bones will be stronger and I’ll be able to walk again.

Let’s keep trusting!

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you,

for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses,

so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

2 Corinthians 12:9

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Much love!

It’s been 7 weeks since I got a fracture on my foot!^^ I still have to wait for another 5 weeks for my follow-up check-up with my orthopedic doctor to see how my bone is healing, but things have been pretty nice and sweet. I feel so blessed that I’ve been showered with love and care. My family and friends are so awesome! They love pushing my wheelchair for me, and helping me move around. I feel sooo very loved!

But the past week, I was starting to feel a little bored and a little annoyed with the cast I’m wearing. I really hope to feel better soon. :D Many times I wonder what’s God purpose~why I had been injured and why I had to stop and take a break for a while.

A week after I got injured, my friend Raymond came to visit me and we were talking about these “little afflictions” we have. He’s been sick with allergies and I, with this fracture of mine. We both agreed that maybe God is teaching us how to empathize with those who are sick, with people who are going through the same things we go through. And truthfully, the experience is hard.  

I’m smiling and happy all the time but I know that is the work of the Lord in my heart. ^^‘Cause in reality, I’m a bit having a hard time. It’s hard to have a fracture in the foot and not be able to walk normally. To not be able to do simple things you need to do-like going to the washroom or getting a plate from the kitchen—without assistance. It’s hard when you want to watch your sisters perform and the venue is not wheelchair-friendly so you have to hop on one foot and you fall on the floor. And it helps to hear words of encouragement and love from people around you, even from friends who come over to visit.

And so this post is inspired by the little pain I have in my heart. LOL Kidding! Today, I’m gonna share with you things we should never tell a sick friend or family member. ^^ I hope this will remind us to care, be sensitive, empathize and put ourselves in other people’s situation if ever we encounter a sick person in the future.

Hey friends! It’s Monday! How did your weekend go? I really had so much fun yesterday, even though I’m still wearing a cast (which I will still be wearing until November).

 
In my previous post, I’ve mentioned that last month, I slipped on our laundry floor and ended up getting a fracture on my foot. I know! It’s funny and I should have been careful! LOL But sometimes accidents do happen even if you try your best to avoid it. Mine happened so fast (like 2 seconds) and I didn’t imagine I’d break a bone!  But God has a reason for everything, right?

What makes me laugh today is that I never realized that this funny thing would change my life for a couple of months. I really didn’t prepare for this. I mean, I never thought I’d ever break a bone in my entire life. I was even smiling and making jokes in the doctor’s office while I was being treated, until he said “You’re gonna wear this cast for a month.” I’m like “Okay! 1 month…” And then I stopped because his words finally sank in.

“One month…?”

5 long weeks I wouldn’t be able to to walk and do the things I normally do. How about church? Work? Volunteer stints? How will I even eat out? My world suddenly stopped for a while~that moment, sitting at doctor’s office.

And now more than a month has passed, and I have to extend wearing my cast for another 7 weeks. It’s hard, but I’m grateful. ‘Cause Jesus is teaching me so many things. It is in my brokenness (and literally, in this moment that I have a broken bone! LOL) that He shines the brightest.

195. Friends who constantly visits me and brings me treats the past month.
196. My super patient parents and my sisters (esp. Ava) who nurses me, helping me move around!
197. My super nice and funny doctor!
198. My super awesome youth group who’s been so supportive.
199. For lessons you teach me, Lord!
200. Time to rest!
201. For all the love showered by friends, family and churchmates.

Photo Credits: Click photo

I was reading Bonnie’s blog today and I realized many things. The truth  is, all these months I’ve been away, all these months the blog has been empty and quiet, I was thinking of you, my friends~and it felt so painful in the heart every time I think that I am not able to write and come back for a long time.

Not because I don’t have time, because I do.
But because I was afraid to.

I was really afraid to.

There were many times I tried. Sitting in my computer for hours. Starting drafts and never being able to finish. Because I knew I had to tell you the truth before I can ever write again. I’ve always kept this in my heart. The brokeness and all the pain I went through last year, afraid that it we be so raw and I’d be so vulnerable because the pain was so deep. The wounds in my heart were so deep that I had to go into hiding, even from the blog where I can fully share my heart and deepest thoughts.

Betrayed and Forgotten

Let Me See 

I’ve always carried myself so strong. Like no matter how troubled the times were, I tried to be cool and tell myself that it doesn’t get to me. I’ve always tried to encourage myself. Cheer up my spirit. But these time, it just wouldn’t work. I have to come out as fearful and broken as I am…into God’s heart, and let Him see. Let Him heal. Let Him love me.

And after being honest with Him, I knew I also have to be honest with you, sharing my story…

Not An Easy Road

It had not been an easy road. I’ve never felt so betrayed in my lifetime. I’ve experienced so many things years before but that season was the most heart-wrenching.


But I have to tell you. I really have to tell you that this time had also been the most joyful, fruitful and exciting season of all. Not because I’m cheering myself up. I’m not just trying to see the good things. But it was really that: the most joyful, fruitful and exciting season of all. Because God gave beautiful things after the heavy storm. Undeserved. Unexpected. Twice than I’ve imagined. No, I didn’t  even imagined it! He just blessed! So much that I’ve ever expected!

And so I’m writing to you today, after much tears…telling a testimony of His grace. That because of Jesus I am able to forgive and let go and take my turn in giving chances and forgiveness. And to live my life better than ever because He taught me to forgive and because He is restoring things, not as they were before, but into an even more beautiful masterpiece. And it feels really, really good in the heart!

And it felt as good as ever to be like this, real and honest with you. You guys had been so kind and gracious to me, encouraging me with your messages here and even on Facebook and Twitter while I’d been away. I was touched and felt so loved! Thank you so much! Thank you for being there and accepting me unconditionally.

And to Bonnie: Thank you, my dear sister! Your honesty and vulnerability have always encouraged me to be vulnerable and truthful and to come to Jesus just as I am. I need not to pretend to be anybody. Because He loves me. Exactly just as me.

I can’t believe it’s October! Time flies really fast! I’ve been away for a really, really long time. I really miss you guys and writing on the blog. 
I should update and we guys need to do a lot of catching up, right?

I'm really so sorry for not putting much time to blog. So many beautiful things have happened, so many beautiful lessons I’ve learned which I’ve failed to share with you. I hope we can still go through all them all together—the stories, the miracles, the blessings, and even the victories when times were challenging. And I hope to hear from you guys as well. I haven’t heard from many of you, my bloggy friends! How have you been doing? ^^

Anyway, today… I’ve been at home for over a month now. Got a fracture on my right foot after I slipped on slippery floor. And I’ll be wearing my cast until the 3rd week of November! I’ve worn it for 5 weeks already. The next seven weeks will be quick and better than ever!

I have so much stories to tell you about, but let’s begin with my birthday last month, 3 days before I figured the accident.

 

“Because God prepares

beautiful things

to comfort and  bring us joy

 long before we realize

that we need them.”

September 2, 2012

The last time a wrote a lengthy post ( I know it’s been a while! ), we talked about our house being open for missionaries and guests from abroad. And it’s been so fun the whole year! Pastors and their families coming over is something my family is always looking forward to. Being a  Pastor's kid gives you this kind of privilege to cherish. ;)



But of course, good things also come with a special kind of challenge. And I believe these challenges are specially custom-made for each of us. I, particularly, know that God wants me to change something in my attitude. I know he wants to kill every hint of *princess complex* in me.


Like today, the guest  that we’re housing in my room for two months now needs to extend for another 6 months (people usually stay for a week at most). I would be lying if I would tell you "Ah, that's nothing". Because secretly, I wanted to cry (Crybaby over such little thing, eh? LOL) For two months, all of my things are in the hallway, and sometimes I sleep in the sofa. And it gets really hard at times. Sacrifice is really hard. 

But sacrifice is not sacrifice if it wouldn’t require you to give a part that would hurt you if you do. And I guess this is something Jesus wants me to learn. I’ve never been good in this. I sacrifice for ministry or work, sometimes extravagantly, but there are I things I save for myself, things I have put boundaries around and call my own. And I’m having a hard time giving them up~like that room. And to love, I know I must learn not to have a "hold" on these things and be willing to give them up if necessary.



In heaven I know the Lord prepares good rooms. I may lose my room here in on earth but I know in heaven I will have a good place to stay in. So I choose to look at things eternal. ^^


Sometimes I feel ashamed that I also feel this “hurt” when it’s only just a room. Some people even give their own lives. But we all learn in a different pace do we? ;) 

Before, Jesus taught me to give apples from my tree. Now, He’s teaching me to give my branches. And sometimes even though that hurts, I know that when the test is done, I will come out with a better attitude and polished heart.

And I’ll finally learn what sacrifice is all about.

How many giving trees have there been in my life? How many released part of themselves so I might grow, so I might accomplish my goals, find wholeness and satisfaction and reach beyond the tiny, limited playground of my childhood? So, so many…

Now I, like the tree, have grown up. Now it`s my turn to give and some of that hurts. Apples, branches, sometimes the trunk.

– Growing Strong In The Seasons of Life

Anyway, when Jesus was born, he didn't have a room, did he? :D

Good morning!

I woke up very early today because the whole family is leaving,
except me. :) My sisters and my parents, they’re all busy on Saturday morning. But I’m alone with nothing to do, and since the other things I need do (meeting, church, etc.) are all scheduled in the afternoon, the house is mine for the rest of the morning. hahaha


At first I felt a little sad about me being “home alone” on Saturday morning. I don’t like an empty house. ^^ I’m used hearing laughter over breakfast, spending time with the family. But I’m finding the quietness fun now. I’ve actually got “me time” which is not easy for me to have during busy weeks. I can spend my morning talking with the Lord in prayer mountain-like silence and in the comfort of my own home. It’s refreshing! And now I’m looking forward to this, even if I have to wake up early to bolt the door. LOL

Anyway, how are you? How are you spending this weekend? Hope you all have an awesome time!  And don’t forget to spend time with Jesus!

How have you been doing guys?

The past week has been so much fun and busy in our home. Have I told you before that we’ve opened our house to missionaries and pastors from our home church in Japan? Yup, so every couple of months we’ve got friendly visitors staying with us and every single time we’ve got new lessons and  stories to share.



I’m not gonna say entertaining pastors is easy-peasy (‘Cause you have to be excellent in cooking and cleaning and all that. LOL) but it’s sooooo much fun and there’s so much joy in your heart, it overflows! And the wisdom and the friendship we gain from the loving, caring wise men of God we entertain in our house is priceless! I guess I’ve learned really important lessons of faith and love from little chats with my Dad’s pastor friends and it's really a humbling experience everytime.




I’m also learning so much from my parents during these times of “entertaining”, as they open our home to men of God. I learned that opening your house also means opening your heart. Serving. Following and obeying God. Being Christ-like. It’s our family’s part in serving and I’m humbled and honored to do such thing.


Last Sunday, in church, our guest pastor asked, “What do you have in your house (that you can offer to God)?”. It’s funny to think my parents would say “Oh, our whole house…You can stay in our house”. And I remembered the Shulamite woman who offered Elijah a room and  who offered him something to eat.


Sometimes, I think we don’t live a normal life (LOL), but at the end of the day, the things that you learn and the greater opportunities to love and care and serve are few of the best things a person can have in this life. I feel very blessed to have the opportunity to love and serve great men of God. Because when I serve them, I’m also serving Jesus.

How about you? What do you have in your house that you can offer to God?

Last week, a couple of close friends dropped by and my heart felt so much refreshed. It had been tough season in the ministry and I don’t often get chance to express how I feel or open my heart so seeing these good friends of mine again after many months was really like a ray of sunshine on a cold, winter morning!  It was like God knew  I needed to see them before I even realized it myself!


It feels so good to think that God loves us so much to give us friends who love us, who are willing to stick with us till the end… friends who amazingly reminds us of worth in the eyes of the Lord without even saying a word and by just simply sitting across the table, chatting and having dinner with you.

I am so blessed to have those kinds of brothers in the Lord.



I stand in wonder that I matter so much to God for Him to  “invent” friends, to give me my brothers whom I dearly love and hold close to my heart—and who loves me just the same, and to send them to come at the right time when I least expect it, but when I really need  them the most.

There are times when we wonder if God will ever come for us or if He will show up on our behalf, but this season of my life…

I know I should be working but I’m thinking of You. ♥♥♥

You take each and every day, make it special in some way. I can’t imagine even loving You less.

Lord, I love the way You hold me. –J.G.

The other night, my sister Ava and I took our 7 year-old cousin Dane out for ice cream. It was about dinner time and we had to walk a little distance to get the convenience store. You wouldn’t mind ‘cause it’s summer and people would even go out at midnight just to get ice cream. ;)



It was my first time to take Dane for a short walk around the neighborhood. We always drew and played in my room but it was always my sister Ava who took her out. I was really excited and was feeling very protective at the same time. I held Dane’s hand tightly as I could as we walked to the store.

But after a little while, as we took our last turn towards “ice cream”, Dane began to ask some questions that were sweet but frightened me a bit. LOL

FOR TODAY

Outside my window...

It’s drizzling outside and the sparrows are flying around, maybe looking for a place to find shelter. Feels cool and calming. I hear the birds chirping. Pretty afternoon. ;)

I am thinking...

how nice it would be to walk under the rain, with an umbrella. It’s summer here so cool rain is something to cherish! *wink*

I am thankful...

that the meeting tonight was cancelled. I was rushing to finish some paperwork but I can slow down now since the meeting might be moved till next week.

In the kitchen...

Green beans and beef. My favorite! ;) But I’m craving for ice cream. It’s a little warm even though it’s raining. A little cool too. I don’t understand! haha

I am wearing...

Orange flowery shorts. Summery around the house! LOL

I am creating...

Tshirt designs and brochures. Summer camp is also one month away so I’ll also be making camp promo materials and the program too!

I am going...

to take a short nap later when I post this. Lazy afternoon because of the rain!

I am wondering...

why lately I’m loving old songs. Well, not really “old” but songs that were popular a few years back, like Brooke Fraser’s “Faithful”, Lenny LeBlanc’s. I haven’t been hearing new songs that speak to my heart these days.

Photo Source:

1, 2, 3

{My sister and churchfriend in Angono, yesterday}

For many people, Mondays are the beginning of the week, but it’s actually rest day for me! Sundays are really super busy. I’m usually dead tired by the time I get home. So I usually sleep the whole day on Mondays. Like today, I just woke up. I’ts 2pm. lol

How have you been doing lately, guys? I feel so bad I don’t get to post as much as I should. I missed Valentines day and the first day of summer (here in Manila)… there were so many things to write about, so many things to share. I’m excited to see you here on the blog more in the coming weeks.

{Plates, plates!}

Anyway, I’m sharing a few photos from my phone taken yesterday. We have a new church plant in a Angono, Rizal…that’s two hours away from home. So every Sunday, after church and after lunch, we drive to Angono to meet with our awesome friends there (Hi Ate Sherry!).

Yesterday, we had a lot of free time so we dropped by this Japanese store which looked really cute.  I had a great time at the plates section! LOL I was joking the whole time that maybe I’m growing older that’s why my interest is changing. But little Japanese ceramic tea cups and plates are really cute, right? ^^

Hope you had a great time yesterday. Enjoy today!

Happy Monday!

Oh, how sweet the light of day,

and how wonderful to live in the sunshine!

Even if you live a long time, don't take a single day for granted.

Take delight in each light-filled hour...

Ecclessiastes 11:7-8

It’s 1am and my day is just ending. For the past couple of months, things had been like this. Waking up early and off to bed really late. And many, many times I feel like the day is not enough to finish all the things that need to get done.



Do you sometimes also feel like this? When there are so much stuff to do, so much lessons to study, so much tasks to accomplish?

When this times come, I remember this little quote from Twitter I saw a couple of months ago. It really is simple but has been very instrumental in reminding me to make the most out of every moment and really enjoy every single day (every task, every single second), as it comes.

Let us all decide to enjoy life and see the beauty of every day--because sometimes, we just don't notice...but Jesus...that is Jesus always there. And so we should rejoice in Him always. 

It’s almost 4am now and I’m about to sleep but I can’t put off writing about this till tomorrow. I really can’t wait till tomorrow to share this with you.
 
I was on Facebook, checking out Pastor Min Chung’s profile. I do that really often because I love how he writes, how he shares his thoughts. I learn a lot from the things he shares, his insights from normal everyday happenings. They really are really words of wisdom I cherish in my heart.

Tonight, I love his story about “stapling”. I used to staple a lot too when I was younger…and even till now, when I make hand-outs for our young people in church. And I’m loving it! And like Pastor Min Chung, I want to always feel the same way about stapling--to always feel privileged for the opportunity to do things for the Lord no matter how seemingly small and mundane they are… even if I would be asked to clean, sweep, or remove gum under the chairs.


So this short note is really like a sweet reminder/test/encouragement for me tonight. Very, very humbling. Praying I’'ll always feel and understand how privileged I am to serve Him, regardless of how small or big the task.   Enjoy reading! Have a blessed day ahead!

‎1. When I was a junior high student as a youth group member, I was happy stapling Sunday school material for the church whole Saturday, because I felt so privileged to staple for the Lord

2. When I was a college student, I was the first to come to church and the last to leave, setting up the chairs and cleaning the floor, because I felt so privileged to set up chairs for the Lord

3. When I became a pastor, I sit and meditate and prepare sermons and I am on my knees praying for people, because I feel the indescribable sense of privilege to be able to feed His people for the Lord.

4. When I feel the potential for my heart to be proud, I test it as I always ask this question, “will I still be thankful to staple for the Lord?”

5. When my time is done as I lie on my deathbed, I want to be able to say, “what a privilege it was, while I was alive, to be able have the chance to staple for the Lord.”