It was my first time to take Dane for a short walk around the neighborhood. We always drew and played in my room but it was always my sister Ava who took her out. I was really excited and was feeling very protective at the same time. I held Dane’s hand tightly as I could as we walked to the store.
But after a little while, as we took our last turn towards “ice cream”, Dane began to ask some questions that were sweet but frightened me a bit. LOL
Dane: What if I get lost? Are you gonna look for me?
Cathy: Of course, we’re gonna look for you. BUT you shouldn’t get lost. You should always hold tightly to my hand.
Dane: How long would it take you to find me?
Cathy: I’m not sure. We’ll do our best to find you. But it could take a while… That’s why you shouldn’t get lost.
Dane: What if stay at the computer store? That one, with lots of blue lights!
Cathy: But we can’t leave you… we’re supposed to buy ice cream, right?
Dane: Just go really quick and come back for me! I’m just gonna stay in front of the store. I’m just gonna take a look.
Cathy: No, we can’t leave you here. You have to go with us. If we leave you here, you might get lost. You might not be around when when we come back. We don’t know where to look for you. Or worst, bad guys might take you.
Dane: Are you afraid that I’d get lost because Mom would scold you?
Cathy: No, I’m afraid because I don’t want you to get lost..to lose you. We might never find you again. I’d be so sad if I’d never see you again. I won’t have Dane to play with anymore. And your Ate (older sister), she would be alone…
After that, Dane became silent. We got the convenience store, got our ice cream and walked back home happily. But I never forgot my little conversation with Dane that night~~for days!
Because as funny as it seems, it reminded me of my own conversations with my Heavenly Father.
It reminded me of my own questions. Questions some of you might have also asked at some point… Or which we may have never asked God outright, but which we keep in our hearts.
Sometimes, as we walk with God, we pass by glittering lights that amaze us and catch our attention. Riches. Fame. Beauty. Power. Success. Or Sin. We are enticed to stand in front of the store, stare through the glass window, and stay a little longer. And soon, we might get inside as well. But we know that to stand right there, there is one thing we have to let go. We have to let go of the hand that holds us and guides us.
That night, as Dane started to ask me those questions, I held on to her even more. I tried my best to make her understand how much she is valued and loved and that her absence would break my heart and everyone who loves her. If she would be gone, everything will be different. And we couldn’t stand a day imagining what would’ve have happened to her. We don’t want anything bad to happen to her.
I am humbled to think that God loves me even more than that. That He values me and thinks good things for me. There are times I stare longer at the store with bright lights and I grumble because He would not leave me there for a while and just come back to get me sometime later. I understand now, deeper than I have ever before, that He doesn’t want to let me go. He doesn’t want to lose me—not forever, not even for a single day…
I have loved you just as My Father has loved Me. Stay in My love.
–John 15:9 (NLV)