What Not To Say To Someone Who’s Sick

4:57 AM

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It’s been 7 weeks since I got a fracture on my foot!^^ I still have to wait for another 5 weeks for my follow-up check-up with my orthopedic doctor to see how my bone is healing, but things have been pretty nice and sweet. I feel so blessed that I’ve been showered with love and care. My family and friends are so awesome! They love pushing my wheelchair for me, and helping me move around. I feel sooo very loved!

But the past week, I was starting to feel a little bored and a little annoyed with the cast I’m wearing. I really hope to feel better soon. :D Many times I wonder what’s God purpose~why I had been injured and why I had to stop and take a break for a while.


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A week after I got injured, my friend Raymond came to visit me and we were talking about these “little afflictions” we have. He’s been sick with allergies and I, with this fracture of mine. We both agreed that maybe God is teaching us how to empathize with those who are sick, with people who are going through the same things we go through. And truthfully, the experience is hard.  

I’m smiling and happy all the time but I know that is the work of the Lord in my heart. ^^‘Cause in reality, I’m a bit having a hard time. It’s hard to have a fracture in the foot and not be able to walk normally. To not be able to do simple things you need to do-like going to the washroom or getting a plate from the kitchen—without assistance. It’s hard when you want to watch your sisters perform and the venue is not wheelchair-friendly so you have to hop on one foot and you fall on the floor. And it helps to hear words of encouragement and love from people around you, even from friends who come over to visit.

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And so this post is inspired by the little pain I have in my heart. LOL Kidding! Today, I’m gonna share with you things we should never tell a sick friend or family member. ^^ I hope this will remind us to care, be sensitive, empathize and put ourselves in other people’s situation if ever we encounter a sick person in the future.

 

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1. Sometimes it’s only psychological.

The first week I wore the cast was one of the hardest in my life. When the swelling in my foot subsided, the cast got loose and my foot slid downwards. A day later, I couldn’t sleep because of pain. The cast moved and was not in proper position and my leg was twitching inside. Then my fingers started to feel burning and my feet got numb. I tried to calm down for 2 days thinking I was just not used to the cast, but later on felt like I’m never gonna be able to walk again if I won’t see my doctor.

And it hurts to hear some people say that my pain was only psychological. They didn’t know I was in so much pain! I wanted to kick my cast off and just throw it away that night! Haha


And so please never say this to a person in pain. It’s like saying his pain is not valid, that it shouldn’t hurt and he shouldn’t either. Listen to them and acknowledge that it hurts and you’re there for them. :D

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2. Ah, your injury is so little! Thought it was worse. No big deal.

This statement really hurts because it makes the sick person feel that what he is going through is nothing. That he’s just overreacting and it’s not enough to make him feel bad. If you say this, it would make the sick person feel that the physical and emotional stuff he has to deal with is invalid. 

I’ve been wearing my cast for 7 weeks now. For the first 2 weeks, I was not allowed to let my foot touch the floor. Even today, I am not allowed to step or put pressure on it. And because of that, many things in my life have to change. And emotionally, I’ve been trying to encourage myself to find God’s purpose so I won’t feel depressed. Imagine if someone tells me this is “no big deal”.

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3. The doctors just want to earn money. They want you to keep coming back.
This is really offensive. I was wondering “Do they really think I shouldn’t be wearing this cast?”, like they think I’m believing I’m sick but I’m not really sick.” Instead, encourage their heart and make them laugh. People need that when they’ve been sick for a while.

4. Maybe God’s Punishing You. Seriously, this sounds a lot more like condemnation. And even if you don’t mean it, this will hurt! I know stories of well-meaning friends asking if their sick friend have sinned. Yup, like the story of Job. So instead, let’s just pray for our sick friend that he may find God’s purpose in his situation. 


Called To Empathize

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I believe God calls us to encourage and comfort one another. And the best way to do that is to put yourself in other’s people shoes.

To feel the pain of another. To understand and be there when times are times are tough. To be sensitive when other people are hurting and be the hand that wipes away their tears.

And even I, in this season, need to be understanding, caring and forgiving. I know this is what God wants me to do as well. I may need the caring and understanding at this point, but I should be able to give that as well to those who need them, right? All is well! ♥♥♥

What encouragement would you want to hear if you are in their situation?

How much do you want to be understood?


How patient and caring do you want people to get?


Now do that for your sick friend or family member!

Encourage. Care. Understand.

 

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Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth,

but only such a word as is good for edification

according to the need of the moment,

that it may give grace to those who hear.

~Proverbs 10:11

Blessings! Keep encouraging!

 

Photo Source: Click Photo

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