Of Crayons, Tantrums, and Trusting God
12:59 PMTonight, my uncle who is a doctor in Kuwait came over to surprise us with a visit. Everyone was so excited because we haven’t seen him in years. When he sent a message that he’s coming this afternoon, cousins immediately came to our house to welcome Tito. We ate a lot of donuts and chocolate while catching up! ^^
After dinner, we drove to Pasig to my Aunt’s (My Tito and my Mom’s sister) house. We had ice cream and talked till midnight. It was fun and these family moments are just so lovely!
But there was one striking moment for me tonight.
We were readying to go back home when my 4-year old cousin Rhianne started to get anxious. She couldn’t find her new, beloved crayons. She was looking for them everywhere~inside her bag and on the table where she was previously drawing. But the crayons could be found nowhere. We were all starting to get out of the house and she started to panic. So we tried our best to console her.
“It might have been left at the van”, her Mom said.
“It’s just around”.
“Maybe it’s just inside your bag, sandwiched between your clothes.”
“We will find it later.”
“Sure, we will!”
But none of those words comforted her. She just wouldn’t believe us. She didn’t want to find it later. She wanted to find out where it is right now.
“It’s not there!”, she cried. She was repeating it over and over while her Mom strapped her sandals.
Watching Rhianne Crying Tonight
Reminded me how sometimes, I, too get so anxious about many things that are uncertain in my life. Sometimes, I , too, get so fearful when I don’t know what God’s has in store for me in the future. When dreams fade. When opportunities are nowhere to be seen. When I don’t understand His plans. When I have no idea where He’s leading and what He’s doing in my life. Many times, I get really, really frustrated. Sometimes I even wonder if He has forgotten me.
But seeing my cousin tonight crying over her lost crayons, I understood that like how we desired Rhianne to trust us (the adults around her), God desires everyone of us to trust that He is our Father and He will never ever let us down.
Many times we find it so hard to understand God’s ways. We get so afraid when we don’t get answers, when we can’t understand our circumstances. We cry when we can’t find the things we hope to find.
For a 4 year-old girl, losing her crayons is like losing a big dream, losing a job or failing a class in college. It’s like having a heartbreak, or closing a business you’ve worked hard for for years. And it feels so terrible and fearful. But for her Mom and for the adults around her, they know so much better. They’re keep calm and not afraid because they know they can find the crayons later somewhere. Or if not, they will replace it with new ones for her.
God reminded me tonight that He has always been and is taking care of me today.
There are times God asks me to wait. And there are times my 25 year-old mind couldn’t understand His “Author of Time” wisdom… and so He invites me to trust His heart and His love. One day, He will make everything fall into place. One day, at the right time I will understand everything and it would all make sense. I just need to trust Him. To trust the One who reassures me that it's okay. He's there. He's in charge. And I have nothing to fear.
Looking at my cousin tonight, I smile and laugh at myself. How could I sometimes not see God’s hand holding me in uncertain times? If He asks me to wait, I should wait. I trust Him, the powerful and mighty God the who loves and takes care of me.
Will you also trust Him today?
don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
he’s the one who will keep you on track.
Don’t assume that you know it all.
Run to God! Run from evil!
1 comments
Thanks so much @k vieira Thank you for your encouragement! I hope to meet you someday, too, in the Philippines. Drop by if you have time, sister! :) May the Lord bless you so much more than you have ever dreamed of! Hugs!
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