The last time a wrote a lengthy post ( I know it’s been a while! ), we talked about our house being open for missionaries and guests from abroad. And it’s been so fun the whole year! Pastors and their families coming over is something my family is always looking forward to. Being a Pastor's kid gives you this kind of privilege to cherish. ;)
But of course, good things also come with a special kind of challenge. And I believe these challenges are specially custom-made for each of us. I, particularly, know that God wants me to change something in my attitude. I know he wants to kill every hint of *princess complex* in me.
Like today, the guest that we’re housing in my room for two months now needs to extend for another 6 months (people usually stay for a week at most). I would be lying if I would tell you "Ah, that's nothing". Because secretly, I wanted to cry (Crybaby over such little thing, eh? LOL) For two months, all of my things are in the hallway, and sometimes I sleep in the sofa. And it gets really hard at times. Sacrifice is really hard.
But sacrifice is not sacrifice if it wouldn’t require you to give a part that would hurt you if you do. And I guess this is something Jesus wants me to learn. I’ve never been good in this. I sacrifice for ministry or work, sometimes extravagantly, but there are I things I save for myself, things I have put boundaries around and call my own. And I’m having a hard time giving them up~like that room. And to love, I know I must learn not to have a "hold" on these things and be willing to give them up if necessary.
In heaven I know the Lord prepares good rooms. I may lose my room here in on earth but I know in heaven I will have a good place to stay in. So I choose to look at things eternal. ^^
Sometimes I feel ashamed that I also feel this “hurt” when it’s only just a room. Some people even give their own lives. But we all learn in a different pace do we? ;)
Before, Jesus taught me to give apples from my tree. Now, He’s teaching me to give my branches. And sometimes even though that hurts, I know that when the test is done, I will come out with a better attitude and polished heart.
And I’ll finally learn what sacrifice is all about.
How many giving trees have there been in my life? How many released part of themselves so I might grow, so I might accomplish my goals, find wholeness and satisfaction and reach beyond the tiny, limited playground of my childhood? So, so many…
Now I, like the tree, have grown up. Now it`s my turn to give and some of that hurts. Apples, branches, sometimes the trunk.
– Growing Strong In The Seasons of Life
Anyway, when Jesus was born, he didn't have a room, did he? :D