Everyday Life

Amnesia Girl

2:32 AM

tumblr_mbv59lRC2z1r8fqy9o1_400_largeIt’s not easy to forgive. Every girl who has been hurt knows that.

 

I remember a time I got hurt by a friend I had trusted so much. I didn't know it would hurt that bad when a friend leaves just like that, with no explanation at all. I wondered how a friend could just stop being your friend after everything. It was unbelievable--like a movie, only that it was happening in real life. And it's much more painful than I've ever imagined. I felt betrayed like arrows were speared at my heart when I was not looking, right at my most vulnerable moment. I felt bad why I've ever opened and given my heart to people. I wanted to forgive but it’s just hard!

 

I've tried everything. Remembered the good things. Recalled the fond memories. I imagined what would it be like when I meet the person again someday. Would I be able to smile and say “Hello! It’s so nice to see you”? I knew to forgive was the right thing to do. So I practiced—to smile, wave my hand and greet with my usual happy tone. But it was just hard! Because deep in my heart I was really hurt and I couldn’t pretend I'm okay. And I found myself rehearsing lines from a famous movie instead.

 

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“Who are you? I'm sorry if I can't remember you...”

 

As crazy as it seems, I was so angry, unforgiving and hurt that I wanted to pretend I have amnesia the next time I meet the person who offended me. I just didn't know when and how I could forgive.

 

But God, He's so different, so forgiving! No matter how many times we've hurt Him in the past, He doesn't rehearse movie lines pretending He has forgotten us. Instead He forgives us. He pardons our sin and hurls our iniquities to the depths of the sea. He does not stay angry forever but shows us His compassion and unfailing love.

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And when I look at His love for me and how much He has forgiven me, something in my heart begins to change. Suddenly, I want to be like Him and my grudges seem so small and childish. I ask myself how can I not forgive after God has forgiven everything inexcusable in me. Suddenly, I don`t want to be amnesia girl anymore.

 

When we allow God`s love and forgiveness to wipe away our sins and overflow in our hearts, everything begins to change. His love wipes the bitterness away. And when we see ourselves as God`s forgiven children, we begin to understand what it means when He asks us to extend the same grace and love He has showered us extravagantly with. We`ve been forgiven and He wants us to extend the blessing. And when we do, the bitterness melts away and what remains is love, freedom, peace and the strength to forgive another day.

 

Who is a God like you,

who pardons sin and forgives the transgression

of the remnant of his inheritance?

 

You do not stay angry forever

but delight to show mercy.

You will again have compassion on us;

you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities

into the depths of the sea.

 ~Micah 7:18-19

 

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Everyday Life

Strength Will Rise

9:35 PM

tumblr_mavl2kcYsH1qhurlto1_500_largeI feel so tired today. I just got home from work and I can’t even force myself to do the things I need to do. Yes, I don’t even have the strength to walk to my room or to go to the bath. ^^

Tomorrow…is another day. Another work day. But even though I’m almost dead tired tonight, tomorrow is filled with hope~beautiful hope.

Sometimes I wonder and just can’t help but be amazed where all the strength comes from to travel for more than four hours a day, to and from work. Almost everyday, I come home really, really tired but it’s amazing how I’m able to wake up early every single morning. It’s amazing how God gives the strength and energy I need to enjoy the purpose and dreams He has prepared and set for my life.

On my own, I’m tired and really out of strength.

But in Him…everyday…

there is strength.

And it never runs out.^^

Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.


 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31

Everyday Life

Good Morning Tuesday!

8:58 AM

It's Tuesday and I'm already in the office. Glad that I arrived 15 minutes earlier than call time. Travel has been stressful for me the past few days. It's back-to-school season in the Philippines and so traffic is heavier and I need to wake up 30 minutes earlier than usual.

I haven't told you yet that I'm working for a Christian broadcasting network in the Philippines now. Work is just awesome and I love it here! The people are friendly~like family. And I just love the opportunity to serve and love the Lord doing what I'm doing! :)

One thing I appreciate most working in CBN is that we do devotions every morning before work. On Mondays there's chapel time and it just refreshes my heart. I look forward to these times the most. And it's just amazing how productive I become when I start the day right, spending time with the One I love the most, the One I serve and work for. When you make Him the delight and the center of your day, when you put Him first and make meeting with Him your top priority, it's just amazing (and no wonder) that everything feels so beautiful. Everything is beautiful because He is beautiful.

How are you spending your morning today? ^^


That a beautiful thing, God, to give thanks,   
to sing an anthem to you, the High God!
To announce your love each daybreak,  
sing your faithful presence all through the night,
Accompanied by dulcimer and harp,   
the full-bodied music of strings. 
Psalms 92:1-3



Falling more and more in love with Him ♥ ,
Cathy

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