I was about to sleep when I heard my sister Ava listening to Cinderella—Steven Curtis Chapman`s lovely song, remember?

 
I don`t know what happened tonight. I felt like it was God singing me that song. Not that I would be gone from His arms someday—it was a bit like a wedding song---but it just reflected the love of my Father in heaven! And everything suddenly turned into a fairytale. Right in my little room at midnight, there are butterflies fluttering and my heart is smiling. `Cause I`m dancing with my Father… and He holds me in His arms. And He`s looking at me and singing over my heart…

So I will dance with Cinderella…
`Cause I know something the prince never knew

Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song

And it`s better even than a million fairytales altogether.

What Cinderella Never Told Daddy

I always wondered what runs in His mind when He looks at me. And I had imagined all sorts of things.

I was the little girl who thought I need to be good in order to be loved. For many years, I feared that if I disappoint Him, His love would fade away, that He wouldn`t like me anymore. Because people like good girls. And I`m not a good girl all the time. And there were times that I doubted His love for me so badly that I gave up on myself and thought I wasn`t worthy to be loved. I called myself unlovable and not worthy to be His Cinderella.

I never told Him those fears. I kept that in my heart for a long, long time.

Daddy Loves To Dance
And then Daddy came and told me one thing He always loved and will always love to do: He loves to dance--with me, His little girl, Cinderella. And He told me that what`s running all this time. He  loves me and cherishes me deep in His heart. No matter what I do or what I become, I will always be the daughter He loves, the child He that makes His heart feel big, the apple of His eye. The little girl who jumps on His back and cling on His neck. The one He loves to tuck in bed at night and call by a sweet, funny nickname.

And He doesn`t want to miss even a moment. Not another moment.
And He doesn`t want to miss even one song.
So I should not run away.

`Cause I am His Cinderella.
And He knew something the prince never knew.

He knows my heart and everything about me… and He loves me just as I am.

I am His daughter and I am His treasured possession.

I really don`t have any idea what to write tonight. I haven`t been blogging for like a half a month, and sometimes when you stop writing for a long time, you kindda forget your voice as writer.

 

 

I`ve actually been writing a lot on my journal lately about everything that makes a girl, well, cry and stay up late past midnight. I`ve had some tearful, heartwarming moments with the Lord the past weeks and  isn`t it awesome that you can open up to Him about everything you feel—your fears, your frustrations, everything! I love being His little girl! I love telling Him my stories like how a little child would while sitting in Daddy`s lap.

 

I admit I haven`t been doing that for a long time. And I have somehow forgotten that I am someone Jesus deeply loves. I am someone He loves to look at, someone who makes His heart leap in delight, someone He really, truly cares about. I am His beloved. His child. His bride. He loves me and He owns me.

 

I wish I can give you a  direct link to the song I`m listening right now.

{In Christ Alone by Owl City} Writing all these with that song in the background makes me feel like I`m in a fairytale…with fireflies and musical notes flying in the air, with flowers that sing, and sunlight on my face. Like I live in a world of love that doesn`t run out, that everything will be perfect and I my heart can rest. Well, you can listen to it here. {Just look for the player}

 

Well, God`s love doesn`t end. And His love for me is better than fairytales.

What heights of love

What depths of peace

When fears are stilled

When striving cease

 

My comforter

My all in all

Here in the love of Christ

I stand

Photo credits: via {The London Eye}

My college algebra professor once told me that I don`t trust people easily. That time, I found his statement so hard to believe. I was convinced that I trust people far too easily, but then went on admitting that once that trust is broken, I find it very hard to trust again.

 

Hearts can get really fragile, don`t they? I felt like mine was made of thin glass—easily picked up but also easily broken. Vulnerability came easy for me when I was younger, until the thin glass started to break little by little.

 

Best friends who replaced me. Confidants who betrayed me. Leaders who rejected me. They were like thumbprints in the heart that wouldn`t go away. They haunt me whenever I am about to open my heart to somebody, threatening I would get hurt the same way it happened before.

 

Terrified, I`ve learned to shut the door in my heart. I still make friends

but I don`t let them in to the farthest, deepest rooms of my heart.

I`ve learned to keep people at “reasonable” distance. I was so afraid

to trust, afraid of being hurt, left alone and rejected. I really didn`t want to hand over my heart again to anyone anymore.

 

 

Until I learned that in all these, in times like these… I should forgive. Until I let forgiveness flow in my heart, I would never be able to freely love again. I would never learn to trust anybody. I would never open up myself  to be loved and be held close in the someone`s heart.

 

The pain and hurt of the past…they would go only if I would pardon those who have wronged me and resolve that they do not owe me anything anymore.

 

No matter how deep the pain… I can forgive. I will forgive. We can forgive. We must forgive.

 

The God who always held us close is Someone whom we have hurt so much the same way like those who have hurt and wounded us deeply. And yet, He chose to open His heart to us—still—no matter how utterly wrong and stubborn we`ve been. He has always and will always leave Himself vulnerable to love and love again…even after we fail and fail.

 

How can I not extend that same love and forgiveness to others?

 

I, even I, am he who blots out
your transgressions, for my own sake,
and remembers your sins no more.

                                      Isaiah 43:25

 

“…And I will be kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.” –Max Lucado

 

I really think it`s already summer in Manila. I left this morning to submit a video edit and you wouldn`t believe how hot it is outside! It actually feels like April, to think that February had just started!

 

Since there isn`t anything we could do about that… I might as well enjoy. Summer is beautiful gift from God, isn`t it? I know many of you are looking forward to summer because it is really cold in countries with winter.  But for the past few years, it hadn`t gone really cold here in Manila even when it`s supposed to be cool months. Except this year, of course. So I was just wishing it would last a little longer. Oh how I love sleeping with blankets! It feels bad that I would have to put away cold-weather clothes before I even got to wear most of them.

 

Now enough of my frustrations with the weather. I really wanted to share what I saw on my way home for Kuya Noy`s Production House this afternoon. 

From the prod house, I rode a jeep (the common public transport in the PI) and the route passes by a public elementary school and high school. Since it`s lunch time, kids are already going home and so the almost-empty jeep I was riding instantly got filled.

 

That little girl who sat beside me really touched my heart. She was small and cute and had black hair which curls at the ends. I overheard her discreetly calling her two sisters who were sitting beside the driver. The little girl was so excited about the little frosties that were in her sister`s bag, which are sold on sidewalks for a peso or $0.025. The older girl was quite funny since she chose which was biggest before handing the smaller ones to her sisters. I watched them as they happily enjoyed the sweet treat. And you could see in their eyes and on the way they ate it, that they`re actually wishing for more, but that`s just what they can afford. And it really broke my heart.

 

Almost everyday, I think only about myself. How to earn more. How to fulfill my dreams. How to do well in the things that I do. How to be faithful in my ministry. I`m living a really sheltered life, actually…and I  do forget about other people.

 

I do forget about kids who don`t have enough. I forget that “the world” I am living now is just a part of a big reality, that there are people who needs to be helped, to be hugged, to be loved.

 

And I remember that the world does not revolve around me. My dreams and life isn`t the only thing that matters. The truth is, they appear selfish when brought beside the smiles of the little girls on the jeep this afternoon.

 

And I remember

what it means

to really love and obey Christ.

 

 

²⁰The young man said, "I've done all that. What's left?"

²¹"If you want to give it all you've got," Jesus replied, "go sell your possessions; give everything to the poor. All your wealth will then be in heaven. Then come follow me."

Matthew 19:20-21

 

365 DAYS OF LOVE: Today, I regret not being able to help the girls in any way… But I pray for them that they would know about Jesus` love and that they will have a good life. And I hope I`m gonna meet them again sometime.

Until then, I will open my heart and my hands to other little girls and boys and will not be afraid to show love. Perhaps, I will carry with me treats so when I get to meet them (and others) again.

Ok. I know I`m 23 years old and I`m too old for fairytales. But am I really to old for it?

 

Last night, my sister Viola crawled up to my bed and whispered that there`s a new Veggie Tale DVD for girls about real beauty. She was so excited  about Princess Sweetpea who has a stepmother with a deceptive magic mirror. But unlike other fairytales, Princess Sweetpea was beautiful not because of the way she looks nor because of the clothes she wear but because she was a girl after God`s own heart.

 

“It`s God who sees the beauty in everything. I choose to agree with Him.” –Sweetpea Beauty

 

What`s more is that Sweetpea Beauty doesn`t hate her stepmother neither does she pray for her doom but would do everything to save her from the deceptive magic mirror!

 

 

If you`ve got younger sisters or daughters, or if you`d want to remind yourself that God sees your heart and thinks you`re beautiful just as you are, you can get yourself a copy now. Girls will never be too old for fairytales! So that gives me an excuse to be excited and start looking for the DVD on stores as soon as I can. But then, I`m not sure if it`s already available in the Philippines. Anyhow, you guys can buy in general bookstores if you`re in the US or purchase it online. www.bigidea.com

 

Remember, God sees the beauty of your heart! ;) Always put that smile on your face, girls!

   Last Friday, Viola got a call back for an international girl band audition. Everyone in the house was surprised `cause we never really expected it at all.

Viola told me how she had been praying and asking God to show Him his will, not for her, but for the nations. We were at the premiere of 1040 where Jaeson Ma kept on saying that instead of praying for God`s will for our lives individually, we should pray for God`s will for our generation and tell Him that we want to be a part of it. Since then, Viola said she`d been praying “Lord, give me the nations. Give me the nations.” It was her dream to sing and tell the world about Jesus. So when we learned about the call back, we thought that maybe it was God`s answer for her prayers.

So yesterday, Papa and Viola went to The Manila Peninsula for the live auditions. There were 30 girls who were asked to sing live, chosen from video auditions that had been sent online. At the end of the day, the top 10 was chosen, but Viola didn`t make the cut.

When Papa and Viola got home, I  didn`t see even a bit of frustration in them. They both learned that the girl band audition was actually for some kind of a Spice Girl thing and you know Spice Girls. Viola wasn`t for it—the dancing, the outfit and all.

But I was so blessed because of the stories they have with them. Even if Viola didn`t win, God had a purpose why He brought her there. His purpose is really higher than what what we could ever come up with our finite minds.

If you have auditioned for TV or music or anything, you know how heartbreaking it is to fail. People who get a call back are considered lucky. Many go home with less confidence that when they came in. Star searches can be a mean world for a fragile soul. Sadly, many girls and boys aren`t so strong for this kind of tough and merciless competition.

Yesterday, somehow, God has used Viola in the lives of the girls who were with her. She was sharing about her faith boldly and why she was auditioning. She was sharing about Jesus. In fact, she was even able to share that in front of the judges. Later on, she tried to comfort the girls, who like her, didn`t make it to the cut. At the end of the day, even if she didn`t win, you see God`s hand moving and doing His will. 

Sometimes, it`s like that. God brings us into special situations only to find out that He placed us there to share about him to somebody. If Viola didn`t win but brought one soul closer to Christ, God`s purpose still prevailed. In the end, she didn`t lose but she became an instrument for God`s greater purpose. All things still  work together for good. At the end of the day,  Viola may not have made it to the auditions but she became an ambassador of the Jesus Christ to some of the most talented girls of this generation.

And I think that is so much more amazing than becoming an Asian Spice Girl.  Right? ;)

Okay, what are you doing on the 23rd? Ava and I just got tickets to the Philippine Premiere of 1040.

It`s a documentary about Asia and how missions is doing today. Van Ness Wu, the F4 guy, who is Christian is also in the film and here`s a clip, just in case you want a little preview.

I really hope you guys could come. I`ve heard really inspiring feedback about the film, and we just couldn`t miss this, right? We got to go into the world and we got to be equipped! ;)

Jaeson Ma, the creator of the film will be coming and will be sharing his story too. Sadly, the premiere will only last for a day.

It`s a holiday on the 23rd. So, let`s go! Tickets are only at P150. You can walk-in but they`re gonna seat you on the balcony. So you better get your tickets now so you`d be on priority—and so we could sit next to each other. Just let me know if you`d like to come. We`ve got some extra seats reserved, but we have to confirm if we`re taking them on the 16th.

Let`s go, let`s go! ;)

This was from my journal, dated April 2009. It was one of the sweetest lessons God has taught me on a random morning, on my way to the office. He reminded me that He always sees us through the eyes of a Father, of a friend, and not that of someone who doesn`t know or love us. Read on and I hope you`d also be inspired to see others through the same eyes that sees you. This is for every lady out there who is pursuing modesty.

Today I learned not to judge people based on how they look.

I know it`s quite basic. You can`t judge people based on your first impression on them. But it`s actually a challenge to me sometimes, especially when it comes to girls who are a bit over what the word “modesty” implies.

I`m on my way to the office this morning, when the jeep I was riding stopped to get a passenger. I saw this girl walk by the window beside me. She was wearing a super fit gray tank top, a Laaarge bejeweled necklace, and a pair of red really-super-cling-tight pants which was the craziest `cause it really seemed like leggings to me, and which  I was afraid would burst any moment.) As she walked by my window, I was thinking “Ano ba namang babae yan. What in the world is she wearing?”. Then I noticed she looked young and innocent and believed that she could have looked better in a more laid-back outfit.

Before I could even move on from wishing about a more suitable outfit for her, someone in front of my seat called me “Ate”, and I realized that she was the girl I was criticizing a few seconds ago. She began asking me if I don`t remember her anymore. And I was not only silenced at the fact that I really don`t remember her at all, but also because I was surprised that the girl was someone I know.

She then began asking me questions about my old church, how I was doing… and slowly I began to figure out who she was. She was a friend from my family`s old church 3 years ago. Memories began to come back and I realized just how much I missed and love this girl.

I felt like something changed in my heart. The girl, who a few moments ago was an object of my judgment suddenly became someone I love. When I saw the girl as a stranger, I was taken aback by the way she dressed. But when I learned that she was a friend, I wanted to understand why she was like that, why she dressed the way she did. And I remembered that this girl had a lot of struggles going on in her life. She needs affection, attention, and love. Deep inside her is a little child longing for the approval of others. And I realized, I cannot judge her but SHOULD LOVE HER.

I just thought that God is seeing all girls (and boys, as well) in the eyes of a close friend, not in the eyes of a stranger. He knows the reason why some things happen the way they do. And he loves us, and believes that we can still be changed. ;)

This lesson is such a humbling experience for me.

LOVE.

Sometimes, when we`re doing the right thing, or when we`re trying to do the right thing, we tend to become self-righteous and we easily judge the people around us. But let us be reminded that we are called to love as much as we are called to be holy. You cannot “be holy” and not love. And you cannot “love” and not be holy. So as we pursue godliness, let us also pursue love; and love the people around us and not judge them but share with them about the God who loves them and who longs to embrace them and desires for them to spend every moment of their lives in His presence.

Let`s stay in love, ladies—with Jesus and with the people around us. Let`s see people through the eyes of God who never saw us as strangers but who treats us as the apple of His eyes every single day.

God bless you!

Every girl`s got a crush. Seriously. ;) Now of your a guy, I`m sure you`re now beginning to shake your head  `cause this is real Girl Stuff and if your`re planning to read on, warning right here: Read at your own risk. ;)

Okay. So I`m really crushing on some come cute guy over there… In Seoul, to be exact. And I`m sure, many of you also got a crush on that part of the planet. You know, Yiruma, Lee Seung Gi, Kwon Sang Woo, etc. Well, my crush goes by the name of Lee Seung Hyo. You might find him familiar if you`re watching Queen Seon Deok `cause he`s Yellow Hwarang right there.

So now, you know him? *giggles*

Okay, now enough of that. ;)

 

So why am I sharing you this?

Well, I know we always have crushes on TV, movies, on the coolest, most awesome singers out there--loving the way they look, the way they smile, speak, and carry themselves. Now, I`m also always having crushes on celebrities. Who wouldn`t like guys who look smart and kind and not to mention, almost perfect?

But as we look on these kind of guys, we must be careful that the image of the guy that we are waiting for had been associated with these celebrities whom we find gorgeous and good-looking. We know that God is preparing a person for us and we are willing to wait but we must also be careful to realize that the person we are waiting for is not Prince Charming. He might not have that perfect toothpaste-commercial smile, he may not be as rich as the Prince of Wales,  or he may not look as dashing as your favorite movie star…but he will surely be the one you`ll love to spend your whole life with.

As I grow older, I realize that maybe Prince Charming also has his own flaws. Sure he`s handsome and passionate, kind, loving, and everything pretty. But who knows? What if he doesn`t brush his teeth in the morning or what if he gets irritable when he`s hungry and turns the whole refrigerator upside down? I`m sure Prince Charming sometimes doesn`t look charming. Cinderella might have laughed when food gets stuck between his teeth, or when he loses at tennis every time over the guards. And I`m sure there are many things Prince Charming might have done less like what we thought he would—because the movies and story books only said about his good side.       

Everyone of us might have somehow related to the princesses of storybooks. Cinderella was poor and she has all these big dreams. Ariel wanted to explore another world and try new things. Snow White was being treated unfairly. They’re ordinary girls who suddenly met this perfect prince along the way and we sometimes wish the same thing would happen to us, don’t we?

 

But let us not be disillusioned that when God gives us Mr. Right, he will also be Mr. Perfect. And I’m so sorry to tell these young ladies, there will never be a perfect man, and the real-life Prince Charming’s are as real as your dad, your bestfriend, you brother, and your classmate…who are really, really great but sometimes have their own less-than-perfect moments, and who sometimes makes human mistakes.

And my dear ladies, let me repeat this even though I’m sure you’ve heard this over and over: real love is more than what we see in fairytales. It’s more than just the magical-pixie-dust-moment. Real love is more than being carried on a white horse or being danced with on that sweet elegant ball. Real love doesn’t love only the perfect things of this world. Real love sees more than what’s physical. It sees beyond the pain and hurts that being vulnerable can bring.

Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not self-seeking.

Love will patiently love even if your partner has flaws. Love will forgive and forgive over and over. Love will understand. Love will constantly pray for his beloved and will patiently await as God patiently teaches his partner.

Love doesn’t run after one’s desire. Love isn’t insisting that his partner would change into the guy or girl of dreams. Love gives and love desires the joy of the beloved.

I’ve never really learned so much, honestly. But as much as I am praying for a godly man, I am also praying for God to purify my heart and my love; and that as I wait, I myself would be changed by God into a godly woman.

I will never be perfect and I would also need to be understood. And I’m praying that I, too, when the time comes for me to love, would also learn to accept imperfections and I would also learn to understand..and to be patient as well.

You know, our God is a good God. And He is always sovereign and active. He is intimately acquainted with the things that we do and he loves so much than we could ever imagine. And he works in ways that we never imagined…and it is so comforting to know that even when Prince Charming is still on his learning process, God is changing him and the same way he is changing us too. And we know that his grace is sufficient for everyone of us. So let us not think highly of ourselves that we deserve nothing less than a Prince Charming. But let us be sober and be humble and trust God that whoever it is He gives us, may not be Prince Charming, but will never be less than His perfect will. ;)

Real love, ladies! <3

One thing I'm learning: Just live your life. You don't have to let the world pressure you or influence how you'll live through every day. Just make the most out of the time you've got. 

 

The past few days, I was worrying a lot because I`m getting older and still I haven`t finished college and I have these big dreams but they seem so far away. And I look around at people around me, and see all my friends now living on their own, working in all these top companies and reaching their dreams. And what`s worst is I see all these people living the same dream that I have and I was so pressured to achieve for myself because everyone seems to have something going on with their lives. I felt I wasn`t doing enough, or that I am inadequate.  At one point, I also thought that God has left me and He has forgotten me.

 

But I realized that I cannot live the way people around me are living their lives. We all have a different story. I cannot look at someone`s life and compare them with my own. God has given us the privilege and responsibility of living this life, to live our lives exactly where we are. Each one us has his/her own set of circumstances. And it`s our job to live the best way that we can out of every circumstance that we`ve got, out of every opportunity, out of all the time we`ve been given. We all live because of the favor of God. Each of us are blessed with gifts everyday and we have to take notice of those things and enjoy this life.

 

You know, I learned that I cannot live every single day trying to accomplish something. That`s so very tiring. But I could live my life every day, do the things I love, show the people I love that I love them, do my part in this world, share, laugh, help, love, use my time the best that I can to glorify God, and just to live this life the best that I can. That perspective is very different with just trying to come up with something useful or just doing something for yourself to reach your goals. Living your life is different from fulfilling your dreams or achieving. Living your life is living your life, looking at yourself, where are you are right now, enjoying whatever it is that you`ve got and loving everything.

 

I`m not saying that we should be passive and go to the mountains and sit by our windows waiting for some birds to give us breakfast. No. What I`m trying to say is that it`s the perspective that we have as we live every day. There`s nothing wrong with dreaming. Nothing wrong with wanting to achieve or to make money. But when that becomes an obsession, when that becomes our life, when that robs us of the opportunity to notice how sweet our parents are, how lovely the day is, how wonderful that you have another day to live, that is where the problems come in.

 

If we would all be focused on living our lives and not on the things we should do or what the world expects us to do, moving towards your goals gets easier because you`re not the living for the future or the past, or for anybody, but you`re living your life today. What`s ahead is what`s ahead. What matters is your today. Whatever you do today they say is “a building block for your future”. If your living your life today, you`ve also gonna live your life tomorrow.

 

I realized that there are so many things I can do today, so many opportunities to make a difference. Every day holds a new opportunity to live for the glory of God and to be a used by God to display His love and glory. There are so many people around me now. So many children. A lot of work needing hands to make them prosper. If I`m gonna miss every gift around me, then what kind of fool is that? Everyday, God gives me a fresh start, a new beginning, a new sunrise. Every day, he lets the flowers bloom, the birds the to sing. He gives me a new opportunity to love and to hold a hand.

 

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning. Great is Thy faithfulness, Oh Lord.”

You know, we just have to make the most out of the life given to us. Live everyday like it's gonna be the last. Wake up every morning unsure if you're still gonna have tomorrow. Take every opportunity as sweet blessings from God and don`t panic about your future, because God holds them in His hands. Just live today like how Jesus would live it. No moment wasted. Every second used to glorify God. Every minute enjoyed because it came from the Father, knowing He delights when you delight in Him and the things that He gives.

 

Life is sweet. And everyday gets sweeter and sweeter when you trust Him and when you live for Him. Nothing should be wasted for worries or fears. Life is so much wonderful that what we think of it today. But we have to live it or it will slip away. Life is short and what tragedy to realize at the end of your life that you really haven`t lived it all.

Ok. Periwinkle was my favorite color in Grade 2 when my parents bought me the 48-color Crayola because I already needed them in school and I'm big enough not to break them. lolz

And it was not until I was in college that I learned that Periwinkle is the name of the purple flower we always had in our backyard. Or it is that flower? :p

Now what does it have to do with my blog? 

 Periwinkle is associated with the words:

   serene, purity,

    infinity

I believe that as we grow into lovely young women of God, we must always seek to be an example in purity, speech, behavior, and even in the way we dress up. It doesn't mean that we're gonna be left out with the latest fashion. It just means that as we keep with the times, we also keep our godly values intact and become ladies who, at first glance, can be recognized as Ambassadors of God. ;)


I couldn't imagine myself dressing up in banana leaves. lolz I,myself, love elegance. My black dress and pearl necklaces!!! And my inkling for cutie little stuff... and my  pretty Tropical Punch manicure! But then again, I would have to watch out where my skirt ends, and how low my neckline goes down. I would also have to check that my actions don't hurt anybody, like for example, my brothers in Christ. I would also need to make sure that in every word I say, every decision that I make even in little everyday stuff, that I am glorifying my Father and heaven and living like His daughter--a daughter of the King Himself.


So this is what this blog's gonna be about. The normal,everyday happenings for a young lady who's determined to live her life the Periwinkle* way. ;)