Several months ago, I received a complementary copy of 10 Commandments to Choosing God’s Best from CSM. I loved the book so much and finished in one sitting!

I know this is one our girly issues these days: “How to know if He’s God’s will?”, “How to choose which is God’s will?” or “Is he the right one for me?” This has been the topic of most of my conversations with girl friends recently. And I know even the younger teenage girls love to talk about this topic. We girls just want to know and we want to follow God’s heart, aware that without the proper guidance and wisdom, we get confused!

  

My sister Viola used to tell me that her boyfriend Carlo`s mother used to tell Carlo that he should be careful when saying I Love You. She told him those three words should be said only if he means it, and that he should only speak them to the person he really loves and he really would love with all his heart.

I was so fascinated with that story. Reminds me of Elisabeth Elliot and his brothers being taught by their parents the same way, that I Love You is never to be given away just to anyone, without actually understanding the weight of those words.

 

When someone tells you he/she loves you, don`t you expect that those words mean the person who said it will always stand by you and just love you no matter what? Didn`t you feel that with those words comes a promise of never letting go and keeping you close to that person`s heart?

 

You may never have heard this, but we all know, our hearts know that

I Love You is a promise. When you tell a person that you love him, you are actually making a covenant, because love means commitment. Love means you would never ever leave. When you love somebody and you tell that person that you love him, he is expecting that you will always be there and you will never ever break his heart.

 

Of course there are times when we have to sow “I Love You” unsparingly—to your family, your friends, you spouse. But for the single people out there, hear this out: There are times when you have to really be careful when saying those words romantically—esp. when you`re just starting to feel that you like somebody…

 

I Love You comes with responsibility and if we don`t mean it or if we don`t have the same definition as the dictionary and biblical definition of love, we better not say it and let it come out of our mouth. I Love You isn`t supposed to be sentimental gush alone, but comes with commitment and a promise of real love. Love equals action. Love always should be put into action. And if you`re not ready and willing to do that then don`t say it. Don`t play with people`s hearts...and with your own heart as well.

 

¹¹So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover's life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God. Philippians 1:9-11

 

When God said He loved His bride, He died for her. When He said He loved us, He gave Himself up to die on the cross. He was so filled with emotion and compassion—and love—that He was willing to sacrifice and give up His own life just to save us.

 

So as godly men and women of the Lord, we should be careful in saying “I Love You”.  For the guys, you have the responsibility to protect you sisters` hearts and be careful in not breaking their precious hearts into pieces. Remember, they are God`s lovely daughters and they mean a lot to God. And it`s the same way for girls, of course. To protect our brothers` hearts is also a responsibility we should keep. We shouldn`t hurt others the same way we don`t want to be hurt. They are, like us, God`s beloved!

 

Remember, guys and girls, say love only when it mean it and when you would really keep the promise forever! Okay?

 

Photos via {Tumblr} 

I was laughing at 3 o` clock in the morning, thanks to the podcast on Boundless that really kept me awake.

 

If you haven`t heard about Dr. Henry Cloud, well, you should start listening to the podcasts on Boundless where he was a guest or grab a book of his in your local bookstore. He is a Christian psychologist who have written numerous books about leadership, and of course about relationships.

 

It`s so funny `cause last night, he was talking about biblical dating and courtship and the topic arose about girl friends hoping that their guy buddies would also fall in love with them. And they began talking about ladies who would even do the laundry of their guy friends.

 

Yeah, I know. Doing laundry for a guy friend is way over the top. I wouldn`t do that for a guy friend either. But would that change if ever you like that guy friend of yours? Hmmm. Tough question, isn`t it?

 

I don`t have a guy friend with me while writing this, or a brother, so I have no one to ask what`s going on inside the head of guy who would ask his friend to do his laundry for him. But anyway, ladies, I hope that you get the point right here.

 

Investing too much in guy friend whom you think would probably become a boyfriend soon after is something that we have to be really careful about. Giving your heart away, your attention, your emotions to a guy who haven`t professed his intentions to you is something that should—okay, I`ll say this straight—not be done.

 

There`s nothing wrong to pray about this close guy friend of yours whom you like. Relationships, preferably, should start in strong friendships, right? But if you are investing your feelings on this guy and giving your whole heart to him before you formally  get into a relationship, or even before he makes a move, is something that could quite, well, hurt you in the future.

 

Nothing wrong with being in love, don`t get me wrong. But if you are giving so much to this guy friend, even things that should only be shared in relationships, then that wouldn`t be helpful to you.

 

We know that commitment should come first before intimacy. And we also know that there are a list of things that should only be shared by married couples.  But not only relationships before marriage have boundaries. Even friendships, before formally going into a relationship has boundaries.

You can’t give him everything just yet. And yes, you can’t wash his clothes either!

 

Come to think of it. Is that the kind of guy you would want to spend the rest of your life with? A guy who can`t even do his own homework or laundry? Like what Dr. Cloud said, the guy doesn`t want a girfriend. He wants a Mom! So flee and save yourself, deary! hehe

This was written like a couple of months ago but didn`t get to publish it. Just so you would now. The podcast wasn`t *yesterday* but was a couple of months ago. Will post the link once I find it.