Saturday mornings look different now. Sunday mornings too.

Two months ago, before I got married, Saturdays meant sleeping in and Sundays were "me", family and ministry time. Everything was so easy. I wake up late. Breakfast is ready (Mom and my sister are the best cooks) and I go to church. :D I used to be the last one in the family to get ready and my Mom would wake me up several times to find me sleeping again, 30 minutes before church starts. But things have definitely changed! So many things can happen in a couple of months, right?

These days, Saturday mornings are all about washing piles of dishes, cooking meals and cleaning the bathroom. Sundays mean ironing my husband's pastor clothes (I had no idea it was sooooo hard!) and designing his powerpoint--things that need hard work but which I really like doing for him.

This morning was one of those crazy, challenging days. I woke up a bit late and the husband had breakfast ready. The sleepy, dizzy me thought that I just have enough time to do his Sunday outfit. I got everything ready --a steam iron, our little ironing board, and another travel steamer (whichever works!) only to find more than an hour later that none of those things work. And I cried in frustration because after several ironing sessions with my expert, pastor's wife Mom, I still don't know how to iron a man's long sleeved shirt.

But these days when I feel like a failure are also the days I also feel most loved.

Many people say that a husband's shirt is a reflection of his wife. People use it as a gauge of how good or not a wife is.  I never realized people can be so harsh. :))

But this morning, I found out that a husband's shirt is a reflection of his heart. Wrinkled shirts do not make bad of a wife who's failing but trying hard, but makes good of a husband who loves her wife and appreciates the littlest efforts she makes though she stumbles and makes mistakes.

And I'm grateful because God gave me a husband who sees the well-ironed parts instead of the wrinkles on his shirt, who let's me try, make mistakes and learn from them, who tells me it doesn't have to be perfect and wears to church the far-from-perfect ironed shirt.

If this is what love looks like then my eyes are glued.

Thank You, Jesus.
Thank You for my husband.
And thank You for how crazy beautiful and colorful my new Saturday and Sundays now look like.


Photography © Viola Canaceli (South Korea, 2017)

I just came back from a long break. Last week was challenging and frustrating. I had a serious throat infection and I had to stay in the hospital for several days.

There are times when you're okay and you wake up one morning and things feel like they're spiraling down. I never expected a hospital stay less than two months into my newlywed life, but maybe then again, God is teaching me things, showing me who He is in this season of my life.

No matter the circumstance, He is God and He takes good care of His children.

I'm feeling better now and on my way to recovery. My heart is recovering as well. :) And I find comfort in holding on to the truth that the Lord is my shepherd. It's the last thing I'd ever want to forget.

Sometimes I forget how much You love me. But when everything is stripped away, I find that it's always been you...who's always been there. You never leave me.heart emoticon

I'm feeling sick today. It's the third day of Christmas vacation, and so far it's been fun. Except that I have flu today and I have no choice but to stay in bed...and stay away from my cutie little cousins who came over to visit.

Anyway, I have to go now. Just popping in to greet you Merry Christmas! Hope you enjoy the holidays and spend more time with Jesus!

I'm thinking about moving the blog to a different platform, and changing the layout and all. Sometimes I think it's time for a change already. :)

Hope to see you again really, really soon!

Much love,
Cathy

I thought today is just an ordinary work day. I grabbed myself coffee from McDonald’s and took the shuttle like how I usually do everyday. I sat on the middle part of the van, the long seat behind the driver and what I didn’t know was that in a few minutes, I would be in for one crazy ride.

If you take the shuttle, you’d know for sure that sometimes it gets so tight “masikip” in there. Today’s ride was exactly like that. But what makes it so different was the only guy who was sitting next to me. He refused to give way and instead kept on pushing his shoulder over mine so that he would keep sitting comfortably, leaning on the back of his seat.  I tried to straighten my shoulders to find a comfortable position, and so that the girl seating beside me wouldn’t get squeezed into the door. But he wouldn’t budge. He kept on pushing. He was so heavy and I couldn’t breathe! I tried to resist but until I got off, I could only shake my head in disbelief. Because every time I resisted, he kept on pushing stronger, forgetting completely that I am girl. And that he is a gentleman.

I know I could've  just moved forward and let him sit there comfortably while I hold on to the edge of my seat. I did that on my first shuttle ride this morning, just before this one—because we were all girls and I was sitting next to an old lady. But this time, I was next to a big guy. And I am a lady. And deep in my heart, I know it was just not right. It’s just not right.

Where is Chivalry?

Sometimes, it breaks my heart to think that we’re losing the “gentleman” in our men. Sometimes I wish we could ask, but then we cannot demand our guys to become gentlemen. We can only inspire and teach. But to have a real gentleman spirit requires a change of heart~for gentlemanliness requires service and sacrifice. To give the elderly lady a seat. To notice that a girl needs to help in opening the door. To offer a hand to someone, to give way, to serve. To become a gentleman means you would need to put others’ comfort above your own, to put selfish ways aside for the benefit of another. And I guess that’s what manhood is all about. Sacrifice, service and love defines a real man.

“Among God’s people we understand that a man is to protect a women; to protect a women’s honor; to protect a woman’s heart; to protect a woman’s reputation; sometimes even to protect a woman’s health, her safety. Guys, that’s our job, God gave it to us. Woe unto the man who fails in that responsibility.”                    ~Dr. Albert Mohler

At times like the incident this morning, or like this afternoon on the train when the guy in front of me pretended to fall asleep because he doesn't want to offer his seat, I wonder if chivalry is already dead..or if not, where are the gentlemen? But I praise God because when I thought that chivalry does not exist anymore, He reminds me that I am wrong.

So wrong.

When A Knight Comes Riding on a Horse

I remember one night I was riding the train alone. A UST varsity player got up and offered me a seat, much to the surprise and wide-eyes of his friends. And then there was this kind construction worker who looked so tired but gave up his seat so the ladies in the train could take his place. And the yuppie on the shuttle who moved and sat on the edge of his seat so the girl next to him could sit comfortably. I also remember my officemates who are kind enough to open doors, carry heavy things and fall in line to buy our tickets and make sure we get home safe.

It’s so beautiful to find that there still exists what we hope for: Men who are kind and helpful. Men who chooses to serve. Men who stands to fulfill their role as a true gentleman. It's so heartwarming to find that there are still men who cares about a woman’s comfort and values her heart.  Men who have the character and heart of Jesus.


And so I guess today, I would pray that our culture would encourage this gentleman attitude in our men and teach them to our young boys. I pray that girls would not forget to be grateful and supportive of those who still chooses to offer these little sacrifices and help. I hope that one day, our nation would be changed as men takes on the challenge and the responsibility of a godly man--willing to love and sacrifice even if it would sometimes mean denying themselves and being inconvenienced to serve others.  I pray that we would all perform our part as men and women of God in this generation.

Let me end with this beautiful words from Cole Ryan. I hope every man would read this and find in their hearts to desire to become real gentlemen.

It’s not easy to forgive. Every girl who has been hurt knows that.

 

I remember a time I got hurt by a friend I had trusted so much. I didn't know it would hurt that bad when a friend leaves just like that, with no explanation at all. I wondered how a friend could just stop being your friend after everything. It was unbelievable--like a movie, only that it was happening in real life. And it's much more painful than I've ever imagined. I felt betrayed like arrows were speared at my heart when I was not looking, right at my most vulnerable moment. I felt bad why I've ever opened and given my heart to people. I wanted to forgive but it’s just hard!

 

I've tried everything. Remembered the good things. Recalled the fond memories. I imagined what would it be like when I meet the person again someday. Would I be able to smile and say “Hello! It’s so nice to see you”? I knew to forgive was the right thing to do. So I practiced—to smile, wave my hand and greet with my usual happy tone. But it was just hard! Because deep in my heart I was really hurt and I couldn’t pretend I'm okay. And I found myself rehearsing lines from a famous movie instead.

 

“Who are you? I'm sorry if I can't remember you...”

 

As crazy as it seems, I was so angry, unforgiving and hurt that I wanted to pretend I have amnesia the next time I meet the person who offended me. I just didn't know when and how I could forgive.

 

But God, He's so different, so forgiving! No matter how many times we've hurt Him in the past, He doesn't rehearse movie lines pretending He has forgotten us. Instead He forgives us. He pardons our sin and hurls our iniquities to the depths of the sea. He does not stay angry forever but shows us His compassion and unfailing love.

And when I look at His love for me and how much He has forgiven me, something in my heart begins to change. Suddenly, I want to be like Him and my grudges seem so small and childish. I ask myself how can I not forgive after God has forgiven everything inexcusable in me. Suddenly, I don`t want to be amnesia girl anymore.

 

When we allow God`s love and forgiveness to wipe away our sins and overflow in our hearts, everything begins to change. His love wipes the bitterness away. And when we see ourselves as God`s forgiven children, we begin to understand what it means when He asks us to extend the same grace and love He has showered us extravagantly with. We`ve been forgiven and He wants us to extend the blessing. And when we do, the bitterness melts away and what remains is love, freedom, peace and the strength to forgive another day.

 

Who is a God like you,

who pardons sin and forgives the transgression

of the remnant of his inheritance?

 

You do not stay angry forever

but delight to show mercy.

You will again have compassion on us;

you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities

into the depths of the sea.

 ~Micah 7:18-19

 

Photo Source:

1, 2 & 3

I feel so tired today. I just got home from work and I can’t even force myself to do the things I need to do. Yes, I don’t even have the strength to walk to my room or to go to the bath. ^^

Tomorrow…is another day. Another work day. But even though I’m almost dead tired tonight, tomorrow is filled with hope~beautiful hope.

Sometimes I wonder and just can’t help but be amazed where all the strength comes from to travel for more than four hours a day, to and from work. Almost everyday, I come home really, really tired but it’s amazing how I’m able to wake up early every single morning. It’s amazing how God gives the strength and energy I need to enjoy the purpose and dreams He has prepared and set for my life.

On my own, I’m tired and really out of strength.

But in Him…everyday…

there is strength.

And it never runs out.^^

Isaiah 40:28-31

It's Tuesday and I'm already in the office. Glad that I arrived 15 minutes earlier than call time. Travel has been stressful for me the past few days. It's back-to-school season in the Philippines and so traffic is heavier and I need to wake up 30 minutes earlier than usual.

I haven't told you yet that I'm working for a Christian broadcasting network in the Philippines now. Work is just awesome and I love it here! The people are friendly~like family. And I just love the opportunity to serve and love the Lord doing what I'm doing! :)

One thing I appreciate most working in CBN is that we do devotions every morning before work. On Mondays there's chapel time and it just refreshes my heart. I look forward to these times the most. And it's just amazing how productive I become when I start the day right, spending time with the One I love the most, the One I serve and work for. When you make Him the delight and the center of your day, when you put Him first and make meeting with Him your top priority, it's just amazing (and no wonder) that everything feels so beautiful. Everything is beautiful because He is beautiful.

How are you spending your morning today? ^^




Falling more and more in love with Him ♥ ,
Cathy

Tonight, my uncle who is a doctor in Kuwait came over to surprise us with a visit. Everyone was so excited because we haven’t seen him in years. When he sent a message that he’s coming this afternoon, cousins immediately came to our house to welcome Tito. We ate a lot of donuts and chocolate while catching up! ^^



After dinner, we drove to Pasig to my Aunt’s (My Tito and my Mom’s sister) house. We had ice cream and talked till midnight. It was fun and these family moments are just so lovely!

But there was one striking moment for me tonight.
We were readying to go back home when my 4-year old cousin Rhianne started to get anxious. She couldn’t find her new, beloved crayons. She was looking for them everywhere~inside her bag and on the table where she was previously drawing. But the crayons could be found nowhere. We were all starting to get out of the house and she started to panic. So we tried our best to console her.

It`s been a while since I last blogged. So many good things have happened the past year. The Lord has been so faithful and even that is an understatement! He`s been so good and loving and I feel very grateful. From my injury that`s healed now, to opportunities He gave, He`s always been there guiding and teaching, blessing and purifying my heart. And even through tough times, He was there to comfort and strengthen and save when I couldn`t go on any longer.

 

I guess last year, God spoke to my heart through experiences… My motives were revealed, heart issues were made to come out and it`s so comforting now looking back because I knew the the Lord is more concerned about my heart more than I’ve ever imagined. And He wants to change me into the person He wants me to be, looking more and more like His Son Jesus.:)

 

So I`ll take this opportunity to share with you some of the things I’m so thankful for last year which I wasn`t able to share. :) Hope you`re also doing good. Really missed you, guys!

Last year, I got the opportunity to serve at the Korean Cultural Center. Helped out with their print designs, taught in culture classes, and went out to culture caravans in public schools around the city. It was so fun and I learned a lot of things. It’s always nice to learn about new culture and meet a lot of new friends.

I wrote on my application paper that I hope I’d love the Philippines more as I explore and learn more about Korean culture. And it really did happen. During my stay in KCC, as I watched and enjoyed Korean culture and watch Koreans love their culture, I loved and appreciated my heritage more. I felt proud about my own people and  prayed that someday, I would also be able to contribute something for the Philippines.

Youth Ministry last year has been so much fun! When we started the year, our college students were just new in church and now almost all of them are serving in different ministries. It’s amazing how the Lord is working in the lives and I pray they’d love and seek Jesus more!

Several months ago, I received a complementary copy of 10 Commandments to Choosing God’s Best from CSM. I loved the book so much and finished in one sitting!

I know this is one our girly issues these days: “How to know if He’s God’s will?”, “How to choose which is God’s will?” or “Is he the right one for me?” This has been the topic of most of my conversations with girl friends recently. And I know even the younger teenage girls love to talk about this topic. We girls just want to know and we want to follow God’s heart, aware that without the proper guidance and wisdom, we get confused!

  

Don’t let the excitement of youth cause you

to forget your Creator. Honor him in your youth

before you grow old and say,

“Life is not pleasant anymore.”

~Ecclesiastes 12:1

 

I look back in the past five years of my life and I don't regret every single day I've served the Lord in exchange for my dreams. :) People may laugh at me and call me crazy because I don't live the same way the world does. But I'd give my life away again and again~if only for Him who loves me and takes care of me.

 

I may have not achieved so much in the world, but I have been closer to His heart. I have lived His purpose for life. No medal, certificate, diploma, fancy clothes or car could match that.

 

I have given little, lost some, but gained so much more.

I have served Him and so I have lived my life.  <3

 

Photo Source

I was reading this post by Kristen about aging gracefully and although we’re 15 years apart, I felt that I can really relate to “aging”. LOL

 

I know it sounds funny but I do think I’m growing old. When I celebrated my birthday this year, I felt like I was little far from my teenage years and college days already. Old. Maybe because when I was 19, I thought 25 was old so now I think about these things.

But slowly, I begin realize that beauty grows in age. The more we get older, the more beautiful we could get. Because time enables you to grow in grace and character. It feels so good to look back on my younger days and find that I’m somehow far from who I was back then. And God has changed me so much. Taught me so much. Brought me to places I’ve never even dared to imagine.

I sometimes fear growing older. Because I’m afraid to be defined by numbers. Because even thought I’m 25, I’m still a child at heart. Only a little wiser. I’m also afraid to grow wrinkles. I’m afraid to look old. But then again, the more years we live, like how my sister Ava always say it, the more we see God’s faithfulness in our lives. The more  wrinkles and white hair we have, the more we see His hand moving and His purpose unfolding.

Yes, I want to remain young for a long time (no wrinkles, no age spots). but I also want to grow~deep within. And growing that way matters to my heart more than keeping younger looking skin but without character.

And so I don’t mind being 25 or to be called old if you want to call me that. Because the more years I live, the more I could celebrate His goodness and witness His grace.

 

…I have upheld since you were conceived,

and have carried since your birth.

Even to your old age I am he, and to gray hairs I will carry you.

I have made, and I will bear; I will carry and will save.

Isaiah 46:5

It’s 2PM and tried to go upstairs for the first time in more than a month. Everyone in the house is sleeping and I don’t know what came to my mind but I just wanted to go upstairs. LOL I was so excited and I knew I could do it. So alone, I took my crutches and made my way up. It took me 4 steps to realize I can’t do it. I wasn’t able to go any further. Haha And I realized fighting spirit alone isn’t enough. You need strong legs! I thought if I’d be brave and if I’d believe I can, I can do it. But I was wrong. And so I realized one valuable lesson today. :D

It’s so natural for me to keep pushing even when things are hard. 

I don’t like giving up.

I remember my goal back in college was to “always try to beat myself”. to push beyond what I know I could do. I always thought it’s all in the mind. But God is teaching me otherwise. And today, I am reminded of it once again. Going up the stairs, I have to decide in my heart to give up. Because I need real strength. I need strong feet that would carry my weight. I may be fighting and determined in my heart and mind, but if my foot is injured, it just wouldn’t work. 

Sometimes, it’s in giving up that we become stronger. When we admit our weakness, that’s when real strength comes. Because then, it is God who becomes strong in us. It is when His power shines though. It’s in rest and surrender that are battles are won and our fears are gone.

 

And so tonight, I know the Lord is teaching me the important lesson of “giving up”. I will give up trying to go upstairs until my cast is removed (esp. when everyone is asleep. My Mom will get angry if she finds out. Yay). It’s only when I accept my weakness and rest  the way He wants me to that my injuries would be healed so one day, my bones will be stronger and I’ll be able to walk again.

Let’s keep trusting!

 

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you,

for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses,

so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

2 Corinthians 12:9

 

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Much love!