It’s 2PM and tried to go upstairs for the first time in more than a month. Everyone in the house is sleeping and I don’t know what came to my mind but I just wanted to go upstairs. LOL I was so excited and I knew I could do it. So alone, I took my crutches and made my way up. It took me 4 steps to realize I can’t do it. I wasn’t able to go any further. Haha And I realized fighting spirit alone isn’t enough. You need strong legs! I thought if I’d be brave and if I’d believe I can, I can do it. But I was wrong. And so I realized one valuable lesson today. :D
It’s so natural for me to keep pushing even when things are hard.
I don’t like giving up.
I remember my goal back in college was to “always try to beat myself”. to push beyond what I know I could do. I always thought it’s all in the mind. But God is teaching me otherwise. And today, I am reminded of it once again. Going up the stairs, I have to decide in my heart to give up. Because I need real strength. I need strong feet that would carry my weight. I may be fighting and determined in my heart and mind, but if my foot is injured, it just wouldn’t work.
Sometimes, it’s in giving up that we become stronger. When we admit our weakness, that’s when real strength comes. Because then, it is God who becomes strong in us. It is when His power shines though. It’s in rest and surrender that are battles are won and our fears are gone.
And so tonight, I know the Lord is teaching me the important lesson of “giving up”. I will give up trying to go upstairs until my cast is removed (esp. when everyone is asleep. My Mom will get angry if she finds out. Yay). It’s only when I accept my weakness and rest the way He wants me to that my injuries would be healed so one day, my bones will be stronger and I’ll be able to walk again.
Let’s keep trusting!
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you,
for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses,
so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
2 Corinthians 12:9
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